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Pickaxe Jokes

What do you call a pickaxe that's yours?

mine.

What do you call a bent pickaxe?

A minor problem.

Today a 49er smashed my car with a pickaxe

Fortunately, it was only miner damage

Two scientists are playing Minecraft.

Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn’t know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn’t know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.

Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?

Scie...

Did you hear about the man who was attacked with a pickaxe?

He escaped with miner injuries.

Gonna get my girlfriend a pickaxe for Valentine's Day.

Because she's a Minor

City counsel decides not to fine restaurant owner for digging a hole in his own establishment with a pickaxe...

They say he was just mining his own business.

what goes in one ear and out of the other one at the same time?

pickaxe

I enter through one ear, leave through the other one, but still stay inside. What am I?

A pickaxe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I cannot believe all the people being charged with sexually abusing minors. Can’t the minors defend themselves?

After all, They have shovels and pickaxes. Can’t they use those in self defense?

A miner moves out west to California...

A miner moves out west to California. Having spent a few years in Colorado, he has a pretty good idea of the sort of lifestyle miner's live; up from dawn 'til dusk in the mines, and then up from dusk 'til dawn drinking and playing card games.

So, to his surprise, when he moves to Bluster's Bl...

What kind of deodorant do dwarves use?

They don't like to choose but when they do they pickaxe

A man walks into a bar...

...wearing a hard hat and overalls, carrying a pickaxe in one hand and a lantern in the other. He sits down on a stool and orders a beer. The bartender takes one look at him and says:

"We don't serve miners here."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian man is looking wistfully out at his fields...

It's spring, and for decades and decades now, he's always planted tomatoes, a tradition he brought over all the way from the old country to his adopted home in the US.

Unfortunately, he's getting old, and the work of turning the soil over to prepare for planting the tomatoes is beyond his bod...

A miner rests his bones after a very long shift.

"I don't think I can keep doing this for much longer," he tells his buddy at the bar.

"You just need a little pep in your step," his friend says, handing him a prescription bottle. "Take one of these twice a day and then see how you're feeling tomorrow."

Hesitantly, but without much t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Builder's block

A building labourer when to see the doctor, complaining of constipation.
'Drop them and I'll have a look.'
The doctor then left the room, returning with a pickaxe - which he swung and hit the man right on the bum hole.

All at once, the man involuntarily passed an enormous bowel movement...

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