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Multiplying Jokes

As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...

So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?”

The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”

I have tried all my life multiplying really large numbers by zero.

That amounted to nothing.

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Having sex is like multiplying numbers together

If they're under 13, just do them in your head.

Multiplying by zero is just suicide in math: you don’t really get a solution, but the problem goes away.

Shower thoughts didn't like it, but maybe you will

The idea that we can convert a dog's age to human years by multiplying by 7 is a total myth.

You multiply by 9/5 and add 32. It’s the muttric conversion.

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Three American colonels are in the US about to retire and they are offered an economic compensation...

..which consists of multiplying 100,000 dollars by the distance in inches they have between two parts of their body that they choose.

Colonel McDowell chooses this distance to be from his toe to the edge of his longest hair on his head and the result is 72 inches, so that means he gets $7,20...

Why did the integer stop multiplying with other integers of equal value?

He was Squared Straight.

The paramedic wanted to know about my symptoms.

I told his I've got chills.

He asked if they were multiplying.

As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.

After some while, Noah happened upon two snakes sunning themselves. "Why aren't you multiplying?" Noah asked. The snakes replied, "We can't, we're adders."

So Noah and his sons went into the nearby forest and felled some trees. They made a platform of logs onto which they placed the snakes. Y...

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Why is sex like math?

A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

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A king declares that all Jewish people must leave the kingdom, unless one can beat his priest in a contest.

The rules are simple: without saying a single word, the contestants must argue their faith until one concedes. Among the Jewish citizens, only one old man steps forward to compete.

The priest and the old man take the stage before a crowd, and the contest begins.

The priest raises his ...

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Last night John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected case of Covid-19

But his doctors have now confirmed it was only Saturday night fever and they assure everyone that he’s staying alive.

Apparently he had chills that were multiplying.

Have you noticed that COVID is good at math?

It's very good at multiplying

A father goes complaining to the teacher about his son bad grades.

The father is angry, "there is no way my sons failed his math exam, i can avail myself that he was more than capable when he left home" he argues, "I'd being with him 4 hours straight for the last 4 weeks, he is more than ready for the test, you can have him answer any math related question right he...

Some rabbits may be dumb, but they have math skills

They're really good at multiplying.

Why do cellular biologists always disagree with mathematicians?

Because to them dividing and multiplying are the same

Why do we never run out of math teachers?

Because they are always multiplying.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In order to concentrate superior combat strength in one place,
economy of force must be exercised in other places.
Economy of force requires the acceptance of prudent risks in
selected areas to achieve superiority at the point of decision.
One account has it that Napoleon allowed a subor...

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A farmer buys a rooster for his hens but with a warning from the seller...

A farmer needs to buy a rooster for his hens but the seller warns him that the rooster is unusually amorous and will attempt to copulate with any living creature.

Since the farmer is in dire need after a few foxes have made off with his previous roosters, he takes the risk as part of the bar...

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