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I was walking through the forest when I saw something glimmer in the grass.

"I approached and it turned out to be a golden frog. I quickly grabbed it, intending to sell it for a lot of money, but the frog spoke to me.


- Let me go and I'll grant you 3 wishes.


First I didn't believe it, so I tried to stick it in my pocket, but the frog spoke again.
...

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Birth of a Candy Bar! rated XXX and NSFW

One PAYDAY, MR. PEANUT wanted a BIT o' HONEY, so he took MARY JANE back behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVE. He began to feel her MOUNDS. That was pure ALMOND JOY!! It made his TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out some SNICKERS as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICY FRUIT and caused a MILK...

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Pretty meta bro

Cake day posts are annoying and uncreative, so many people make anti cake day posts. These can be just as bad, and are only rarely funny if they are posted on the poster's cake day, (aka: anti cake day cake day posts). This possess a bit of a conundrum, as here in Reddit, we make fun of things, but ...

Old farmer Joe is checking on his chickens

He notices that one of his chickens, Betty, is producing more eggs than any other chicken on the farm. What’s even more interesting is that they all look identical: same little freckle on the top, same patterns, even exactly the same colour! “This really is unusual,” he exclaims, and decides to inve...

Shamelessly stolen

A momma mole, pappa mole and baby mole were all in their mounds relaxing. The pappa mole popped his head out, and said "It smells like honey up here!"
The momma mole then popped her head out and said "No, it smells like syrup up here."
The baby mole wanted to pop his head out, but there wasn...

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"NSFW" Peter Paul took Peppermint Patty behind the Powerhouse and stuck his Butterfinger up her Cherry Bing.

She let out a Snicker.Nine Mounds later she had a Baby Ruth.

[long] A tourist goes to see the bullfight in Spain

After the matador disposed of the bull and the fight was over, he started to feel quite peckish. He spied a restaurant with a sign "BULLFIGHT SPECIAL" he was seated, and asked his waiter about the special and if it was an authentic Spanish dish or for tourists, to which the waiter responded, it's am...

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Why was the flat-chested college senior so well respected?

Because she was the head of the Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee.
(their influence and power knows no mounds)

HOW TO GET RID OF ANTS

HOW TO GET RID OF ANTS

My buddy from Atlanta Georgia swears this works.

Go to Home Depot or Walmart and buy a can of black spray paint.

Stir up each ant mound as you go and the area around them with a stick.

The ants will emerge by the hundreds to defend the m...

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What type of candy do you buy for...

What type of candy do you buy for a comedian?

...Snickers

What type of candy do you buy for a happy horse owner?

...Jolly Rancher

What type of candy do you buy for a rap star?

...M&Ms

What type of candy do you buy for a divorced wife with no prenup?
<...

A white collar is watching two blue collars.

While looking out of his window, Jack the IT guy sees two construction workers in the park. Both of them have shovels. Jack watches the first dig a hole about eight feet deep, three feet wide. After he's all done, the other worker proceeds to take all the soil the first worker dug up and replant it ...

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A Man is at a Bullfight. He asks for the waiter...

A man is at a bullfight. He asks that the waiter come to his table.

When the waiter arrives, he points to an elderly man who appears to be very happy with a meal, consisting of two round mounds of meat, marveling over every next bite. He asks the waiter "What is that that the gentleman over ...

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