How I became a successful businessman

When I was just about 21 with my shoes worn through and nothing to wear but the one set of clothes I stood up in, I spent my last nickel on an apple from the barrow in the poor end of town, and I walked up to the rich end of town, polishing the apple as I went, until I found someone to buy it from m...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I was doing some landscaping at the Mental Institution.

A patient looked into my wheel barrow. "Whatcha gonna do with all that shit?", he asked.

"I'm puttin' it on the strawberries."

"That's funny. In here, we put whipped cream on ours."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An old general store owner needs some help in sales...

So he hires a young farm hand, and explains to him on his first day- "Ya gotta understand the up sell kid"
The kid shakes his head, listening intently.

"The next customer that comes in, I'll demonstrate how it's done okay?"
again the kid nods.

Just then, a customer walks in, ...

Benny the Bare Faced Viking

Benny was your typical Viking..
Strong, tall, courageous, he was the ideal viking in every way, except for one..
See Benny couldn't grow a beard, for all his 30 winters on Earth, he still had just as smooth a face as the day he was born.
This bothered Benny, because when he was out pillag...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.
She read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheel ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Saw an Iranian joke and I want to share my favorite.

An ensemble of musicians is auditioning for a caliph's court. After the ensemble is ushered in, they perform a beautiful set lasting approximately an hour, complete with long improvisations. The caliph is very pleased and says, "Servants! I order you to fill these men's music instruments with pricel...

A young man buys a silver mine...

A young man heads out to Utah looking for adventure, and he finds a sign in town advertising an abandoned silver mine out in the desert. Intrigued he decides to go check out the mine, and finds the walls absolutely glittering with silver. He rushes back to town and buys the mine, and then goes to th...

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