Mother's Day Jokes - 26 Hilarious Mother's Day Jokes

Mother's Day

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eat...

Mom asks, "Are you going to take me out to a restaurant for Mother's Day?"

Kid replies, "We have food at home"

For Mother's Day, I bought my mom new beads for her abacus...

It’s the little things that count...

This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom.

He said it was the best trade he's ever made

Tomorrow isn't just mother's day

It's son-day as well

I meant to get my mom an Edible Arrangement for Mother's Day

Accidentally got an Oedipal Arrangement and boy is this brunch awkward

It's Mother's Day and the whole family has enjoyed a delicious dinner.

As all were done, the mother stands up and as she's about to grab the empty plates, the father asks :

"Honey... what are you doing ?"

Mother : "... Bringing the dishes to the kitchen and putting them in the dishwasher, what else ?"

Father : "Come on darling, today is Mother's Da...

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Instead of "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day"

It should be "Mother's Day" and "Motherfucker's Day"

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there ...

... And to the rest of you mother f\\\*\\\*kers.

Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

Palm Sunday.

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Before the Mother's day, the teacher gives her class an assignment to write an essay about their mothers.

"Mothers are really important in our lives," she says, "so I want you to write an essay titled "I've only got one mom".

The next day the teacher asks the kids to read their essay aloud. Little Samuel goes first:

"My mom works two jobs to take care of my sister and me, and she gets real...

Mom asked me where I'm taking her to go out to eat for mother's day.

I told her, "We already have food in the house".

Bought my wife a bunch of flowers for Mother's Day.

She said "I suppose you expect me to spread my legs for these?"

I replied "why? Haven't you got a vase big enough?"

And that's how I ended up at the ER.

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Is it too late for Mother's Day

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRA...

What's the best flower for a boy to give for Mother's day?

Son-flowers of course!

For Mother's Day

I'd like to share a joke from one of my favorite customers (RIP Bernie)

Bernie: So, what did you get for mother's day?

Me: Nothing

Bernie: Why not?

Me: Because I'm not a mom

Bernie: Well, want to try for next year?

Three brothers are arguing over who got their mom the best Mother's Day present

The first brother says "I got mom the best gift! I bought her a brand new house! It's so huge, its practically a mansion!"

The second brother says "No, I got mom the best mother's day gift! I bought her a brand new luxury car and I even hired her a chauffeur to drive her around! She just has ...

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(OC) Mother's day is a mother loving holiday.

But Father's day is a mother-fucking holiday.

Family having Specially Planned Dinner on Mother's Day, But the Mother was So Quiet....

Finally, her husband asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” said the woman.
Not believing her, he asked again. “No seriously, what’s wrong?”
Finally she said, “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t e...

Last Sunday, on Mother's Day, I realised that it

...wasn't Mother's Day after all, so there's no need to panic.

Mother's day

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

Greatest Mother's Day advice ever, from my grandmother...

You should beat your children everyday. Because if you don't know what they did, they do!

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Mother's Day

Child: "Mommy, did you want a boy or a girl?"

Mother: "I wanted a fuck."

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A Joke for Mother's Day

An angry mob is getting prepared to stone a woman to death for allegedly committing adultery, when Jesus steps out and stands between the woman and the crowd. "Do not be so quick to judge the actions of others!" He proclaimed, "You all have had your moments of weakness. Let him who is without sin ca...

Choose a special gift for Mother's day

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first son said: “ I built a big house for our mother”
The second son said: “ I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver.”
The third son said: “ You remember how our ...

Visited my grandma for mother's day...

My uncle Jack walked in while I was there and I greeted him "Hi Jack!" after which grandma said "Whatever you do, don't say that on a plane!"

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