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Miners Jokes

Why do miners make good accomplices?

They don't snitch. They're good at mining their own business.

What deodorant do miners pick?

They pick Axe

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What do German Miners call their penis?

Mein Schaft.

How many crypto miners does it take to change a lightbulb?

A thousand. One to change the lightbulb and the other 999 to verify

A group of dwarves get jobs as coal miners

After a week or so, one of the workers really stood out and was getting special treatment from the supervisor, Moe. The other dwarves complained to HR and threatened to go on strike.
The supervisor was called into the office and reprimanded. He explained that he was only trying to keep the harde...

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Cat parents are basically failed gold miners…

All they do is dig up shit….

You heard about the trapped miners forced to eat moles to survive ?

They were living on burrowed time

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Coal miners

An exquisite painting entitled "Home for Lunch" was on display in a art gallery. It depicted three very naked, very black men sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.
Two women were st...

What did the hipster say about the Chilean miners?

I liked them so much better when they were underground.

The following content is not suitable for miners.

Cave-ins.

Why do miners make the best ghosts?

Because they're pro spectres.

I Have Dated Several Miners In My Time... [NSFW]

They sure know their way around my shaft

A miner moves out west to California...

A miner moves out west to California. Having spent a few years in Colorado, he has a pretty good idea of the sort of lifestyle miner's live; up from dawn 'til dusk in the mines, and then up from dusk 'til dawn drinking and playing card games.

So, to his surprise, when he moves to Bluster's Bl...

Why weren't there any Miners in the USSR?

Because in the USSR they were Oursers.

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I have an extensive collection of pornography involving miners.

It’s the only way I can get my rocks off...

Only Coal Miners Will Get This

Black lung disease.

Why did Soviet miners work with their feet?

Because in Soviet Russia, the bomb disarms you!

How Do Miners Make Money?

By stripping or working the shaft.

What monster are miners scared of?

The canary wolf.

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"Your one and only job is to supply the miners"

The foreman told the asian man before leaving the job site.

Upon the foreman's return a week later he noticed one of the job site workers lackadaisically lounging in the sun.

"Hey Bob! How are ya? Why arent you workin boy?" said the foreman.

"Im too hungry to work. That chinama...

America's new tax plan raises taxes on coal miners

Which is weird. I thought American politicians were rather fond of minors.

People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

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The Alaskan Miner

Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.

He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.

"Firstly...

It is 1850 in California, where a group of miners are looking for gold.

Hundreds of miners flock to a local river and reserve their spots for mining.

Some manage to secure a spot on the river before the rush, and the spots are taken instantly. Ones that slept in are too late and have to move on to the next one. Some of them will never find gold, even the.miners i...

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[NSFW] What do male pornstars and miners have in common?

They both specialise in drilling 'ores.

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

because all day they deal with ores.

How many crypto miners does it take to change a light bulb?

A hundred thousand!

One miner to change it, and 99,999 to determine who gets the credit.

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When the Romans Conquered Britain

In the mid 1st century CE one of the problems they did not anticipate was the rampant fraud being conducted in the bronze trade. Tradesmen who shaped the metal would buy it from merchants who bought it from the miners in the form of bars of bronze, already mixed from copper and tin.

The...

An American soldier and two miners are on a helicopter.

The miners are carrying iron ore and the American soldier is carrying bombs to a special facility. The soldier looks at the altimeter and sees that they are going down. He tells the miners this and they all agree to throw three sacks full of each's cargo. They all throw it over and land a few hours ...

I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners...

Apparently Jared from subway had a stash...

(I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out)

Brian wanted to be a miner ever since he was little

So one day when he hit that magical age of 21 he packed up all of his things and left his parents house. Too the grievance of his mother he moved a few states over. To a little mining village that like in the old days completely depended on their local gold mine. For some reason unlike all the other...

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A man starts his new job as a miner in a far away Australian town.

The town only exists for miners, and all the miners are men.

After a month on the job the man is very horny, but with no women in town he's out of luck.

One night in the bar he's talking to his fellow miners about his situation. He asks them how they deal with the loneliness.

Th...

A group of miners finished working and went to a bar

but the bartender wouldn't serve them. Ha! Ha! You get it? "Miners!" Haw! Haw!....ah, never mind.

Dumbass Miner

There were two miners were working in a mine. On top there is an office.

Miner A asks Miner B: Why do we have to work in these dirty mines while those guys up there sit in an fully air-conditioned office in their fancy chairs and expensive computers.
Miner B: Because they are smarter than ...

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Aliens abduct a businessman, a scientist and a miner.

"So here's the thing, after achieving everything we could on our home planet we grew bored and now we travel galaxy and ask stupid questions. Here is yours -- what is the biggest number you can possibly think of? If answer amuses us, we grant you immortality, if not, we zap you with this death ray r...

Two miners got trapped in a dark tunnel after a mine collapse, blocking their way in, and cutting off the power and lights.

One miner remained calm. He knew that there was other exits from the mine, but in the complete darkness, he had no way to navigate. He remained trapped.

The other miner started panicking. It was so dark, he had a wife and kids at home, he didn’t want to die like this. He was hyperventilating....

I was just reading up on how they rescued the Chilean miners

most of it was just boring.

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