If Minecraft has ever taught us anything...

It’s that you shouldn’t spend diamonds on hoes

[joke about Minecraft] Why can’t the Ender Dragon read a book?

Because she always starts at the End.

Saw a little creeper when playing Minecraft the other day

Call that a baby boomer

I got Minecraft for my girlfriend

Best trade I've ever made

What genre would a Minecraft Movie be?

A Block-buster

I’m trying to make a meme on breaking bedrock in Minecraft

But it’s way to hard

If minecraft taught me one thing...

It's to never spend diamonds on a hoe.

I’m excited for Minecraft’s caves&cliffs update

But it will probably have its ups and downs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From my four and a half year old, while we're playing Minecraft together

"Do you know how to make the cows quiet daddy?"

Me: "I guess you just turn down the volume"

Him: "No, you press the moooot button!"

Good kid, good kid ... Made me laugh anyways

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Minecraft and Porn Games have in common?

The first thing you do is get wood.

What kind of meat do you get from Minecraft cows?

Cornered Beef

Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in on Minecraft?

He punches a trhee-hee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is something that minecraft players and men can say?

Fuck, my pick broke, I can’t go any deeper.

Communists don't play Minecraft.....

......they play Ourcraft

Did you guys know that Steve from Minecraft has a 16 skin?

That's because his foreskin is squared.

Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where in Minecraft can you find a block that has only two square feet?

Whichever one the player’s standing on.

In Minecraft nobody can grow pubic hair

They can only grow cubic hair

I decided to get Minecraft. I found a village and killed all the villagers.

Then I opened the game.

Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled?

Because all of the actors wore blockface.

How do you know Minecraft Steve is interested in a a girl?

He looks at her chest.

Some guy on a Minecraft server thought that I was a hermit

How dare he make such baseless accusations.

What would a hammer be called in Minecraft?

MC Hammer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why dont Minecraft players have sex?

Its illegal to fuck a miner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of the most popular searches on pornhub is Minecraft porn

I tried searching for that once. Unfortunately, it was blocked.

What do you call it when you don’t want to talk to someone in Minecraft?

You block them.

P.S. Happy ten years Minecraft.

Why was minecraft steve chosen to be added to super smash bros?

Because Sakurai heard that smash players were attracted to miners

Me: *Raids a Minecraft village killing everyone*

My Grandpa trying to help me with his eternal love and support: "Try napalm, it'll change your life, trust me."

Steve From Minecraft walks into a bar.

The bartender says “Hrmm, I can’t get you a drink.”
Steve asks why. The bartender replies with,

“We don’t serve Miners.”

I tried and failed to make an underwater breathing machine in Minecraft.

I just conduit.

If someone made a sculpture in Minecraft of J-Lo.

Would you name it Jenny from the Block?

What’s the queen of England favorite Minecraft item?

Totem of undying

I won a Minecraft game without cheating

I did it fair and cube.

What do Minecraft fanboys have when they wake up?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a person has a boner in Minecraft?


What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft?


So he can mine it.

I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account

So they blocked me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If they added a penis mod to Minecraft...

Wouldn't it be called a cock-block?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Hitler were alive today, he'd hate playing Minecraft

Whenever he'd start mining diamonds, his generals would yell out "mine fewer!"

Two scientists are playing Minecraft.

Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn’t know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn’t know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.

Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?


What's a pirate's favorite way to say relax?

"Take some arr and arr!"

Thought of it shamelessly while building a pirate ship in Minecraft

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a therapist today for my increasing urge to kill animals

She said killing them in Minecraft doesn’t count

A botanist starts playing minecraft, and he becomes a mathematician

He had to calculate the cubic root

I've been playing Minecraft lately....

It's a very top-Notch game

What do Blazes (from Minecraft) and Dutch people have in common

Both live in the nether(lands) and love to blaze it.

What did the one element say to the other while they were playing Minecraft


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔


is probably what hitler would have titled his autobiography if he had gotten into art school

Soviet Russia would've banned Minecraft

Until it was called "Ourcraft"

What did the minecraft villager say before he died?


A fight happened in my Christian Minecraft server

Nothing too big.Just a little "Frick"tion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friend: What the fuck is Minecraft?

Me: Hitler's lesser known second book about his love of knitting.

Why does Trump like Minecraft?

He doesn’t, it’s fake news but does appeal to his key demographic of miners and wall builders.

My first date told me to just be myself 100%

So I went home and started playing some Minecraft

Why do kids love Minecraft

Because they are Minors.

What did they call the Minecraft player who built a clock in-game to chime at 4:20?

A Redstoner.

What was Jeffrey Epstein's Minecraft Server called?

Miner's Welcome.

What’s the difference between Minecraft and Lovecraft?

Apparently not much based on Notch’s twitter

Did you guys hear about the new Minecraft movie coming out?

I heard it's going to be a blockbuster

How many kids with adhd does it take to screw in a bulb?

Let's go play Minecraft!

I introduced my communist friend to Minecraft the other day.

Too bad he ended up starving to death.

What's worse is he's still AFK in my house.

Generation Z is best known for being hard-working

...within the Minecraft community.

Minecraft is 10 years old

Older than half the people that play the game

"Can I get a pet fox?"

While browsing the forums I read a simple post, the question "Can I get a pet fox?"

Clicking inside, I read the top answer. "You can't tame a fox, but you can leash it to a post." Which I thought was a really succinct and apt commentary on how exotic pet ownership is sometimes unfair to speci...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Hitler name his Minecraft worlds?

Mein Kraft

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Minecraft, there are the Overworld Lands, the End Lands, and the...

Nether Lands.

Now I know why I can't play Minecraft in my Dutch class.

„Wow a PS10! What games do you got?“

„GTA 5, The Witcher 3, Destiny 2 and Minecraft“

How do you scare a Jewish kid in Minecraft?

You get 8 cobblestone.

What do you have to allocate in order to crash a Minecraft server on purpose?

Premeditated Wam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's even harder to find than Bigfoot, UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, and diamonds in Minecraft?

The real download button on Softpedia.com

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timeline of r/jokes

Primary Beginning: (Small Community) Decent jokes, good laughs.

Secondary Beginning: (Decent Sized Community) Good Jokes, Very Good laughs.

Early Middle Years: (Large Community) Faction of Reposters have begun to show themselves.

Later Middle Years: (Huge Community) Most of the ...

Minecraft releases a new movie

Critics say its a block buster!

A normal day at the Apple store

Me: *Walks into an Apple store.*

Apple employee: Hi, what would you like today?

Me: I got $1000 to buy anything I want.

AE: Then our iPhone XS will be perfect! You can have the power of a computer right in your pocket. You can call, text, browse, play games, and so much more!...

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