UPJOKE
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Mess up the formatting

How do you ruin a joke?

What’s wrong with grown adults that regularly mess up they’re/there/their?

Their stupid

What happens when you mess up at ninja church?

The nun chucks you out

Why do people mess up etymology and entomology?

They don't. They just say the wrong word to bug you

I asked Siri, " Why do I always mess up with women?"

She replied, "This is Alexa !!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(An old joke I heard. So sorry if I mess up with the wording.) A dead body was found floating in the river.

..The police recovered it, and found a wallet with the body. They found out that the wallet belonged to Mr. Smith. But they still weren't sure if the dead body was of Mr. Smith or not.

So they did some investigation and found out about the twin brothers Mark and Harry, who were very close fri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do guys with huge dicks always mess up a joke’s punchline?

To get to the other side!

Why can't dyslexic people mess up the punch line?

Wait a minute...

TIL that Subway will give you your money back if they mess up your order.

Whoops wrong sub!

If you want to mess up some bodies knock knock joke?

It's open!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the mating season a few days later

He built a wall with barbed wires on top.*

*A young bull could not resist his temptations and wanted to mate a cow.*

*Other bulls told him there was one veteran consultant bull amongst them that could help.*

*The bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.*...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks her students to use the word fascinate in a sentence.

First she calls on Sussy. "My dad and I went to the movies and we were fascinated!" Sussy says.
"Well that's pretty good, but I wanted you to use fascinate not fascinated."

So she calls on Mary next. "My family went to the zoo, and it was fascinating!" Mary says.
"That's not bad either,...

Struggling to write a new joke about the Jonestown Massacre.

I always mess up the punch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3D printing is a lot like having sex.

First you have to clean your nozzle. Then you have to warm things up. And finally you have to keep just the right heat and speed. And if you mess up all you get is a disappointing mess.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A time traveler meets Adolf Hitler in a bar

Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with Hitler.

The time traveler looked at Hitler and asked “So how are you doing?”

“Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.”

“Well that sucks, you’ll probably land on your fe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump dies and when he gets to hell he sees the Devil

The Devil says to him, "Donald we've been expecting you. Unfortunately we are full right now and don't have room for you. But if you want I'll show you three rooms I could make available to you."

Trump agrees and the Devil opens the door to the first room and they see Richard Nixon endlessly...

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