What happens when you mess up at ninja church?

The nun chucks you out

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Why do guys with huge dicks always mess up a joke’s punchline?

To get to the other side!

Mess up the formatting

How do you ruin a joke?

TIL that Subway will give you your money back if they mess up your order.

Whoops wrong sub!

A chef was worriEd that he would mess up dessert...

Turned out to be a piece of cake!

If you want to mess up some bodies knock knock joke?

It's open!

What do funeral home staff do if they mess up transporting a body?

They go back and re-herse.

There is a sign at the bar that says no glasses in the bathroom

That's really going to mess up my aim...

A few minutes after she was hired, the boss and the secretary got up from the couch in the office and started dressing.

"I want to confess", the secretary says as she lifts her pants.

"I hope it does not mess up our relationship after what has just happened on the couch. But I don't really type as fast as I said in the interview."

"It's okay", the new boss replies, "I want to confess, too, and I hope it...

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A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the mating season a few days later He built a wall with barbed wires on top.

A young bull could not resist his temptations and wanted to mate a cow.

Other bulls told him there was one veteran consultant bull amongst them that could help.

The bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.
The consultant explained: "First of all.. stand 60 feet ...

Life is like a Rubik's cube

If you get one side of it all smooth and organized, you usually mess up all the other sides in the process.

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A teacher asks her students to use the word fascinate in a sentence.

First she calls on Sussy. "My dad and I went to the movies and we were fascinated!" Sussy says.
"Well that's pretty good, but I wanted you to use fascinate not fascinated."

So she calls on Mary next. "My family went to the zoo, and it was fascinating!" Mary says.
"That's not bad either,...

String vs bartender

A string walks into a bar bartender yells at him “we don’t serve your kind here” So the string walks out of the bar, bends over, mess up his hair, and walks back into the bar bartender asked him “ aren’t you that string I threw out earlier” string looks at him and says “No I’m a frayed knot

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Donald Trump dies and when he gets to hell he sees the Devil

The Devil says to him, "Donald we've been expecting you. Unfortunately we are full right now and don't have room for you. But if you want I'll show you three rooms I could make available to you."

Trump agrees and the Devil opens the door to the first room and they see Richard Nixon endlessly...

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A man rushes into a public lavatory

A man rushes into a public lavatory but finds all the cubicles to be occupied.
With the need to defecate urgent, he shits inside a plastic bag.
While looking for a way to dispose the bag, he spies an open window. He aims and throws the bag but it opens mid way and the shit spreads all over...

The Middle Aged Magician

There's this middle aged magician in Vegas who has this really big show he's nervous for. He hits it off with one of the showgirls and she says she come by before the show to help ease his nerves. So he prepares by taking his magic blue pill. Unfortunately, she never shows up and it's time for him t...

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Old joke: Andrew Dice was getting a blowjob from his girlfriend. Just before he cums, she says "why do you want to do it in my mouth?" ... And Dice says:

"Honey, it's a nice restaurant...I dont wanna mess up your hair.."

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