Mentally Ill Jokes - 18 Hilarious Mentally Ill Jokes

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What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash?

You get what you fucking deserve! *BANG*

What do you call a cow who is severely mentally ill?

Udderly Insane.

Why did the mentally ill billionaire try to purchase Antartica?

Because he was bi-polar.

How do you repair a relationship between two mentally ill people?

Crazy Glue...

My mother took to me one of those buildings where they take the mentally ill.

A church.

In Germany it's common for mentally ill patients to be committed to least ten different facilities.

They're in-zehn asylums.

It's my cake day, so one of my favorite jokes ... A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.

His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!"

"I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.

"Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."

The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who wo...

What do you call a mentally ill person without arms and legs?

Call him whatever you want, its not like he's gonna get up and do anything about it.

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A bunch of mentally ill people get on a plane

A bunch of mentally ill people get on a plane. They create havoc and so much noise. The pilot wants a little quiet. He goes to check out the plane and sees them playing except one person. This person was minding his business and appeared professional. The pilot explained the situation and told him t...

Did you know the original programmer of Oregon Trail was beaten to death by mentally ill Discworld fan?

He died of dissin' Terry.

If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill.

But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.

I wore my kilt for my first meeting with my psychiatrist

She told me I was mentally ill just moments after I sat down.

She said ‘I can clearly see your nuts’

My Uncle was in a mental hospital

My uncle is mentally ill and has been in a mental hospital for two years. The doctors noticed that he seemed to be doing well so they decided to discharge him. Before signing the discharge papers, the doctor asked one last question to my uncle just to make sure.

The doctor asked "If you put ...

I'm getting really sick of all this hate for Donald Trump.

It isn't nice to make fun of mentally ill people.

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Mickey Mouse goes to talk to a Divorce Lawyer

Mickey Mouse goes to talk to a divorce lawyer.
The lawyer says "Now you say you want a divorce because Mrs. Mouse is mentally ill?"
"What?" Mickey says. "I didn't say that!"
The lawyer says "But you told me she was crazy."
"I didn't say she was crazy," Mickey says. "I said she was fuckin...

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Mickey Mouse stood before the judge...

Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict on his divorce case.
"Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce. Although you claim she is mentally ill, the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent," proclaimed the judge.
"But your Honor," he said, "I didn't say Min...

Person 1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Person 2: Why did it?

Person 1: Because he wanted to visit his friend, who is mentally ill.

Person 2: Oh how sad

Person 1: Ok then. Knock Knock.

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: The chicken

A new doctor at a mental asylum decided to conduct a test

The objective of this test is to determine if those patients are truly mentally ill or not.

He handled patients in groups of three. He puts them in a room and draws a door on a board infront of them. Then he tells them that there is feast behind the door so he can see their reactions.

...

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