UPJOKE
socialismcapitalismsocial classcommunismphilosophykarl marxproletariatbourgeoisiesocialistislamistclass struggleislamicrevolutionaryrevolutionbolshevik

Marxist Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a Marxist I could never play CoD,

because I refuse to create a class.

A Marxist-Leninist, a Stalinist and a Maoist walk into the bar.

„You have to be 21 to drink“, says the bartender and kicks them out.

A socialist, a nihilist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks

"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.
AI Image Generator

A guy called me a c*nt after I told him I'm a Marxist.

Basically, for telling him about my plans to seize the means of production, he called me a means of reproduction.

Why do Marxists only drink decaf tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

How did the marxists get around?

The Prolechariot.

if a Marxist rewrote the tale of Robin of Locksley, he would title it...

Little Red Robin Hood.

What’s the difference between a capitialist fairy tale and a Marxist fairy tale?

A capitalist fairy tale begins with, ”Once upon a time, there was...”. A Marxist fairy tale begins with, ”Someday, there will be...”.

So it turns out that Trump is a Marxist...

... he seizes women by their means of production.

Why did the shy person not become a Marxist.

Because he is not a Social-ist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a Marxist jack off?

By seizing the means of reproduction.

A Socialist, a Marxist, and a Postmodernist walk into a strip club.

The bouncer checks their ID's and says

"sorry guys, come back when you're 21."

Donald Trump is actually just a confused Marxist.

He wants to seize the means of reproduction.

Why wouldn't the Marxist ever make a decent cup of tea?

Because he'd read that all proper tea is theft.

What do you call a cannibal that only eats Marxists?

. . . a proletarian.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Word spread quickly that a meat shipment was inbound from Moscow, in the Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic.

Sure enough, in the early hours of Monday morning the line outside State Food Store no. 46 was already over two hundred people long, many whispering excitedly about poultry and sausages, despite the dark, bitterly cold morning. After hours of waiting, and still before sunrise, the Commissar came out...

Stalin visits a farm

One day, Joseph Stalin visits an agricultural collective. And so....

Stalin: Comrade, how much wheat do you have?

Farmer: Comrade Stalin, we have enough wheat to reach God!

Stalin: Comrade, as a Marxist, you know that there is no God!

Farmer: Comrade Stalin, as a Marxist...

Yo mama is so classless...

...she could be a Marxist utopia

The most high brow yo 'mamma joke...

Yo mamma is so classless... she is like a Marxist utopia!

A Muslim, an Illegal Immigrant, and a Marxist walk into a bar...

And the bartender asks, "What'll ya have, Mr. President?"

What do you call a Communist Mexican?

A Gaucho Marxist

Screwing in a lightbulb

How many Zombies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because they wouldn't fit and zombies don't screw.

 

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Thirty-one. One to hold the bulb and 30 to drink until the room spins!

 
<...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.