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Heimlich Maneuver Jokes

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Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, was getting frustrated.

Everywhere he went, people pretended they were choking to see what he would do. One day, he visited England. During a banquet with the royal family, the Queen grabbed her throat and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was faking. Later, he passed a prince on the street, and t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heimlich Maneuver

Two hillbillies, Daryl and John, walk into a steakhouse and sit down at the bar. The two order beers. A woman next to them begins coughing hysterically and puts her hands over her neck to show she was choking.

Springing into action, Daryl rushed over to the lady in distress. Grabbing the bott...

Gave my wife the Heimlich maneuver.

I’m running out of ideas for birthday gifts.

Quick! Does anyone know the Heimlich maneuver?

England just choked.

What is it called if you fail to successfully perform the Heimlich maneuver?

Two people choking.

The guy that invented the heimlich maneuver died today...

needless to say I'm a little choked up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do bad sex and the heimlich maneuver have in common?

Both start out with lots of excitement, but then everyone is just relieved when its over

The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96.

Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.

A friend of mine died last friday, while drinking his martini

It's on that day I learnt an important lesson:

Though laughter is the best medicine, in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.

George Bush bought a rotisserie chicken

George Bush went to the store on day and bought a rotisserie chicken for dinner. He began his trek home when a sudden and serious hunger fell over him. His stomach grumbled, he had a headache, all his mind could think about was eating. Fortunately, he was able to bear with it until he got home. Once...

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