Make Friend Jokes

I’m being serious, it’s getting kinda lonely here.

They will cosine for you.

Because you can't break the ice.

I don’t want to get too attached

No one ever told me life was gonna be this way.

Have kids and hope they're funny

You tell it a bunch of bologna

Next time you are washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say "this water is getting out of hand" it is a guaranteed way to make friends. I have never tried it but it is guaranteed

Start asking out all the ladies you know by name.

Tell a woman you love her, to which she'll say "I think we're just friends".

Ask them to be your girlfriend.

So I went out on the street and started shouting what I cooked, ate or drank.

Right now I've got 3 followers - two cops and a psychiatrist

Cause they always seem to get off on the wrong foot.

Friendship has two 'i's.

The squadratic formula.

Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.

And it works. I already... read more