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Lunatics Jokes

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3 Lunatics

Three lunatics approach their Asylum doctor with a request for a weekend pass to the local city. "That's impossible says the doctor. You're all nuts. You'll get lost and never come back." But, the lunatics wouldn't relent until finally, exasperated, and the doctor says "OK! If you can answer a simpl...

Two lunatics

Two lunatics are escaping from a mental asylum.

They get up to the roof and can see roofs lining to their freedom

The first one jumps to the next roof without a problem but the second one is afraid of falling

So the first one says “here, I have a flashlight, I’ll shine the light...

What's the difference between trains and ambitious lunatics?

None. They're both locomotives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bus full of lunatics broke down.

The driver is walking around the bus checking everything but does not figure out what's wrong. One of the passengers comes to him and says "I know what's broken, I know what's broken!" but the driver ignores him and tells him to go back inside. Local mechanic arrives and checks everything there is t...

Two Lunatics Escape The Asylum.

there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum and one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... st...

There are two lunatics in a mental asylum...

So, there's two lunatics in a lunatic asylum and they're both due to have assessments to be released. They decide to make a pact that the first person who goes in to see the doctor will tell the other one the answers to the questions.

So the first one goes in to see the doctor and the doctor ...

What do you call fans of the moon?

Lunatics

I met a group of crazy people in a moon worshiping cult yesterday.

They were Lunatics.

So the Apollo missions found insects on the moon.

Lunatics

Driving in France

I was driving from London to Paris and got off the ferry at Calais.

I got onto the D901, when my wife called me saying "careful dear, they are saying on the news that there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road."

I said "the news is wrong honey. There are hundreds of these...

I was watching Trump the other day with my dad.

He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Son, once in every generation a man comes to the fore who stands up for his fellow citizens against the foreign lunatics of this world. Get the gun, we're going to America."

A priest and a homeless man are standing on the road in a heavy storm...

... Holding a sign that says "Turn Back, the end is Nigh!"

A car passes them, the driver yelling "Get off the road you lunatics!"

As it rounds the corner a loud crash is heard.

The homeless man then tells the priest "I told you we should've written 'Bridge out' you god damn idi...

NASA claims that they've just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon.

They're a bunch of lunatics.

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