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Pyromaniac Jokes

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A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac
are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution,
bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it," said the sadist. ...

Pyromaniac

A pyromaniac teenager decides to burn his family's house down. The cops approach his parents and say, "Looks like someone left the stove on."




"Oh, no," They replied, "it was arson."

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes, we arson."

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A sadist, a masochist, a zoophile, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a serial killer are having a stroll in the park.

This merry band of weirdoes and deviants are getting a bit bored. Then the zoophile whispers: "Oooh, I know what we should do. Let's catch a cat!"

The sadist nods approvingly: "Yes! Let's catch a cat... and let's torture it!"

The serial killer licks the blade of his knife, and chimes i...

What's a pyromaniacs favorite part about Tinder?

The Matches.

me and my pyromaniac wife have a child

He is arson

My first three boyfriends all turned out to be pyromaniacs, and now I'm struggling to trust men.

I've just been burned too many times.

A zooaphile, a pyromaniac, a necrophiliac and a masochist are walking around..

...and they see a cow. The zooaphile says "hey guys, I'd like some time with that cow". The pyromaniac says "that's cool with me but when you're done I'm gonna set that cow on fire". The necrophiliac says "that's cool, when the fire goes out I'd like some time with that cow as well". The masochist...

My kid asked if we are a bunch of pyromaniacs

I said, "yes, we arson."

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A rapist, a zoophile, a pedophile, a sadist, a necrophile, a pyromaniac, and a masochist are all standing in a jail cell. .

The rapist: "I'd like to fuck something."

The zoophile: "A cat?"

The pedophile: "Even better, a kitten."

The sadist: "How about we beat the kitten up, and THEN have sex with it?"

The necrophiliac: "Alright let's beat a kitten to DEATH, and then have sex with it."

T...

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A zoophiliac, a murderer, a necrophiliac, a pyromaniac and a masochist are sitting together in a prison cell...

The zoophiliac looks around himself and muses:

"Damn, I wish there was a cat around here... ya know, we could... fuck the cat."

His inmates nod in agreement. The murderer then says:

"Or we could fuck it, and then kill it!"

The necrophiliac turns to the others and, grinni...

I haven't told my wife that I'm an objectophilic pyromaniac...

.. but I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

What does a pyromaniac pirate call his son?

Arrrrr-son

What is a pyromaniac pirate called by his dad?

Arrrrson

A pyromaniac got a bag of coal for Christmas...

Was he naughty or nice?

Did you here about the genius pyromaniac?

Whenever he had an idea, he sure lit up!

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A zoophile, a sadist, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a masochist hang out together...

Zoophile: "We should fuck a cat"

Sadist: "Yeah and after that we torture it to death"

Necrophile: "Awesome idea! And when it's dead we will fuck it again"

Pyromaniac: "And wenn we're done we just set that molested animal on fire!"

Then the Masochist clears his throat and ...

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There's a room with a zoophile, a torturer, a pyromaniacal, an assasin and a sadomasochist

Zoophile: What if we fuck a cat?

Torturer: Yeah and then we torture it!

Pyromaniacal: And then burn it!

Assasin: Aaa aand kill it!




Masochist: ... Meow?

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Did you hear about the Russian pyromaniac bartender at the Jewish wedding?

The specialty drink of the evening was the mazeltov cocktail.

My friends all tell me I’m a Pyromaniac...

I tell them not to worry. We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

What did the pyromaniacs say when their kid told them he wanted to be a firefighter?

*gasp* YOU'RE NOT ARSON ANYMORE

What did the pyromaniac say to the love of his life?

You're a perfect match

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A zoophile, a pyromaniac, a necrophile and a masochist are siiting on a bench...

... in a park. The zoophile comes up with a twisted idea:
"Let's find a cat and fuck its brains out", he says.
"Yeah, and then let's burn it to a crisp!", adds the pyro.
"Brilliant idea, so we can fuck it, burn it, then fuck it again", says the necrophile.
The masochist's eyes light up a...

How does a pyromaniac react when they get flammable Coco cola for Christmas?

He's soda lighted!

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A zoophiliac, a pyromaniac, a necrophilliac, a pedophile and a masochist are in the loony bin.

Zoophilliac: Let's fuck a cat!

Pedophile: Make it a kitten!

Pyromaniac: Before we fuck it we burn it!

Necrophilliac: Yes! we fuck it after it's dead!

Everyone is jumping in excitement, then look at the masochist.

Masochist: MEEEEEEEOOOWWWWWWW.

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A masochist, a sadist, a necrophile and a pyromaniac are walking down the street.

They see a cat.

Sadist: "God, I just wanna tear this cat to shreads, and have his blood all over the place."

Pyromaniac: "Yea, and after that we can set his pieces on fire!"

Necrophile: "And after that maybe we can take the ashes and make sweet sweet love to them?"


Ma...

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In a mental asylum for the criminally insane there is a masochist, a zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophiliac and a pyromaniac...

The zoophile says "Lets get a cat and fuck it!"

The sadist sadist says "Yeah, lets get a cat fuck it and torture it!"

The murderer says "Lets get a cat fuck it and torture it and kill it!"

The necrophiliac says "Lets get a cat fuck it and torture it and kill it and then fuck it...

A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery.

He was found praying with friars.

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A zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necromaniac, a pyromaniac, and a masochist are sitting around...

And for some reason they are talking about cats.

The zoophile says, "let's get a cat and have sex with it".

The sadist agrees, "yes! Let's screw it and the torture it!"

Then the murderer chimes in, "we can fuck it, torture it, and then kill it!"

Next the necrophiliac says...

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What is the difference between erotic and kinky sex?

A sadist, a masochistic, a murderer, a necrophilic, a zoophilic and a pyromaniac sit in the garden of psychiatry and are terribly bored.

Once the zoophile sounds:
- What if we fucked a cat?

For this, the sadist:
-Yes, let's fuck him and then torture him well.

The mur...

I have an ability that I can leave buildings 3m before the fire alarm goes off

But for some reason people call me pyromaniac

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Favorite bands

What’s an ornithologist’s favorite band? The Byrds

What’s a geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones

What’s a herpetologist’s favorite band? The Turtles

What’s a vaccine developer’s favorite band? The Cure

What’s a pyromaniac’s favorite band? Arcade Fire

...

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Annual Meeting of some people with special interests.

Each year a group of 5 loonies come together to have a good time.

The people are: a sodomist, a sadist , a pyromaniac , a necrophile and a masochist.

After a couple of hours they get bored, however the sodomist got an idea:

Sodomist: We could catch a cat and ya know have fun wi...

I had a house warming party the other day...

I should really stop hanging out with pyromaniacs.

After burning a building, a son asks his father

"Are we pyromaniacs, Dad?". The father replies, "Yes, we arson"

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Halfway House gets a pet

So there's a psychological halfway house where several people live. There's a zoophile, pyromaniac, necrophile, murderer, sadist and a masochist. One day the therapist decided they needed to get a pet. So in way of an exercise he told them to discuss what kind of pet, and why it would be fun. They s...

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