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Limousines Jokes

A Russian mobster goes to meet Italian mafia

As soon as Italians notice him, they scoff. "You're not real gangster."

"Why not?" the Russian asks.

"Do you own a 4 story mansion?"

"Well, no."

"How many limousines you own?"

"Limousines? None."

"And where is your solid gold necklace?"

"I, I do not ...

Have you heard about the Tesla cars being converted into stretch limousines and causing accidents with faulty steering.

The media are calling it Elongate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Limousines

A young boy was having a conversation with his dad when he asked what the thing was between his legs. The dad responded, "It is your limousine, try to park it into as many parking garages as possible."

The same day a girl was conversing with her mother asking what was between her legs. The mo...

A young boy finally works up the courage to ask a girl to prom...

She says yes, to his surprise and he starts to prepare to make the night as memorable as he can for the both of them.

First, he decides he needs to rent a tuxedo. He finds a local shop that does rentals, since he doesn't want to buy one. The line at the clothing store is almost out the door....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A banker's son, an investor's son and a farmer's son were going to prom.

But the day before the prom, the principal made it a requirement for all students to arrive in limousines.

As the banker's son entered through the school gates in a Mercedes Maybach, the engine roared, and all the girls cheered.

"Nice limousine." Said the school security guard.

...

The pope visits the USA

On his arrival at the airport there is a big limousine waiting for him, he gets in and they drive off. After a while the pope confesses to the driver: "I am a big limousine fan and always wanted to drive one, do you think we can switch and you let me drive for a while?" The driver feels like he can...

Long Lines

A young boy likes the prettiest girl in school and decides to ask her out to prom. Due to her being so pretty, there's a long line he waits in to ask her out.

The young boy realized that he needed a corsage for his pretty date so he goes to buy one. Due to it being so close to prom, he waits ...

Dude is getting ready for prom night

He thinks to himself; "I'm gonna need to make this night perfect so I can get laid!".

He thinks about what he'll need. "I'll need a perfectly fitted tuxedo so I look good so I can get laid!" So he goes to the tailor and sees an incredibly long line. It's prom day so he's not the only one thin...

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