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Kneed Jokes

Chuck Norris’ wife accidentally kneed him in the groin while dancing

He asked her if her knee was ok

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was working in the garden...

...and his wife was about to take a shower.
He realized that he couldn't find the rake.. and yelled up to his wife,
"Where is the rake?"
She couldn't hear and she shouted back, "What?"
He pointed to his eye, and then pointed to his knee and made a raking motion.
his wife wasn't sure a...

The Big Pizza Place

There was once this really big pizza place, so big that each job was assigned to one person; one person put the pizza in the oven, one guy put on the toppings, and so forth. Well there was this one guy who worked by pushing his hands into the dough and making sure that it was the right shape. Day in...

My boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to walk out the door

So I jammed my knee into his stomach.

“You can’t leave, I kneed you”

Why did the baker have smelly hands?

Because he kneeded a poo.

Did you hear about the dough you don't even have to touch?

No kneed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy 10 stories up needs a saw

He's working on a construction crane, and he yells down to a worker below. He gets no reply. They do make eye contact, however. So he tries sign language. He points to himself, points to his knee, and then makes a sawing motion. "I kneed saw" The guy below gets the idea, rips his belt off, throws hi...

My Dad showed me how to make bread, then he wanted me to do it on my own...

While I was kneeding the dough, he said, "This time, I won't tell you what to do next"

I told him, "I don't need you to"

He said, "Prove it"

Hear about the lazy baker who wanted a pay increase?

He rarely kneeded the dough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to Hell [Long]

The evil man arrived in Hell and was immediately greeted by his Eternal Assignment Demon. They walked down a dank hallway until they came upon a door. “This is your first option of three for you to serve your eternal damnation. Behold.” The EAD slides the hatch on the door and the evil man (let’s ca...

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