UPJOKE
cramptwitchmuscletwitchingmuscle spasmparalysisachesorenessstiffnessvomitingpainstrainheaveretchpathology

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I have these weird muscle spasms in my gluteus maximus,

I figured out from my doctor that everything was alright:


They said "Weird flex, butt okay."

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Doctor! Doctor! My husband just got admitted to this hospital with involuntary butt spasms, where is he?

ICU baby, shakin' that ass!

What Do You Call a Ocean Raider Tired of His Pet Bird's Muscle Spasms?

What do you call a ocean raider tired of his pet bird's muscle spasms?

A pirate tired of polly tics.

If you're having eye spasms, I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a twitch ain't one

What do you call it when your back spasms from carrying around all the money you made on contracts to detain potential immigrants?

A compensation cramp.

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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

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A man with a nervous facial twitch is auditioning for a part in a play

Every few seconds his cheek spasms and one eye squints.

The director of the play says "How do you expect me to give you a part if you keep doing that?"

The man replies "I actually have a medication for it, please wait one moment while I take it." He reaches into his right pocket and pu...

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Two guys in a jungle

Warning: This is a long and very disgusting joke. And english is my second language, please forgive any mistakes.

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Two guys are walking through a jungle. They were both part of an expedition of scientists trying to study wildlife there, but their camp got attacked by natives some nig...

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