UPJOKE
star warsdarth vaderjediluke skywalkergalactic empiredeath staralec guinnessewan mcgregorqui-gon jinnrebel allianceberu larsowen larsprotagonisthermitforce

If Chewie is short for Chewbacca, and Ben Kenobi is short for Obi-Wan Kenobi. What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper.

What's the name of Obi Wan Kenobi's younger brother?

Obi Two Kenobi.

What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's favourite song?

Higher ground by Red Hot Chili Peppers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom

My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the D...

How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents…

Disney isn’t making a second season of Obi-Wan Kenobi

Because there Kenobi-Wan.

What is Obi Wan Kenobi’s least favourite drink?

Absolute Vodka!

What does Obi-Wan Kenobi call he's weed farm?

The high ground

why is it general kenobi and not specific kenobi ?

only a sith deals in absolutes

Kenobi was wondering if he should become a Jedi

So Qui-Gon gave him this advice:

"Oh, be one."

If obi wan kenobi ever made a drug den he would call it..

The High Ground

How many obi's does it take to kenobi?

Only wan.

Luke Skywalker took a hissy fit in a restaurant. Try as he might, using Chopsticks was seemingly far beyond his fledgling Jedi skills. Embarrassing himself and causing a bit of a scene, Ben Kenobi leans over and offers some wisdom:

"Use the forks, Luke!"

Why was Obi Wan Kenobi fired from his job as a marriage guidance counsellor?

He kept telling people to "use divorce"

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say at a restaurant?

”Use the fork, Luke”

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the body builder in his pharmacy?

These are not the ‘roids you are looking for.

Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor?

The only advice he gives is “Use di-
vorce”

What was Obi-Wan Kenobi's favorite place to hang out?

The Maul.

How many treats can Obi Wan Kenobi eat?

Only one cannoli

Obi Wan Kenobi decides he wants a change of pace so decides to put his skills into becoming a marriage councillor.

One day a familiar face pops in, Luke Skywalker. Luke sits down an immediately bursts into tears as his new wife is absolutely awful. For three hours Luke talks, almost non stop, about all the horrible things she does to him - putting green milk in his cereal, signing him up to the Jar-Jar fanclub, ...

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he heard Anakin had joined the dark side?

(shrugs)

"Well, Sith happens"

It was the height of the Clone Wars, and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin had just finished a heated battle against separatist spacecraft.

After making sure that the civilian freighter they were escorting was undamaged, they prepared to hyperspace jump back to Coruscant. However, just as their craft are about to enter lightspeed, a mysterious pulse of energy fries their systems and instead jumps them to a planet they’ve never seen befo...

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to his wife when she cheated on him?

"May divorce be with you."

What does a Jedi use to open files?

Adobe-wan Kenobi

Who was Princess Leia's gynecologist?

OB-Wan Kenobi

The next generation

Obi-Wan Kenobi, while hiding on the deserts of Tatooine, happened to meet a charming lady in Mos Eisley. One thing let to another, and soon they were expecting a baby.

As the baby boy was born, the midwife asked Obi-Wan what would be the name of his son.

"Obi-Two Kenobi, naturally"

What do you call the Redditor whose Jedi mind trick tricked you into upvoting their joke to the front page?

OP Wan Kenobi

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, fi...

This is for any Starwars fans

Son: Dad, why is my sister name Hope?

Dad: Because, your mother always thought the world needed hope

Son: Ok, thanks dad

Dad: Your welcome Starwars Standalone Kenobi Series

Why was Anakin's master weak?

He was Only One Kenobi.

Joke For Darth

What is the difference between the first fight between Vader and Kenobi and the second?

Obi-wan then Obi lost.

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

I hear the new Star was movie will include a Hispanic Jedi Knight.

I can't wait to see Obi Juan Kenobi make his first on-screen appearance.

Obi-Wan cuts off so many limbs

he cuts off Darth Maul's legs

he cuts off Savage Opress' arm

he cuts off Grivous' hands

he cuts off many of Anakin's limbs

and so many random people in bars have lost their limbs to Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan is a menace.

Considering that he is now dead and exis...

Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner...

.... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2 “Oh I’m definitely ordering that!” Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes.

Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a dyslexic farmer and a constipated prostitute?

Edit: What's the difference between an epileptic farmer and a constipated prostitute. Thanks @Jean-Luc-Kenobi

The farmer shucks between fits.

- My grandfather told me this joke when I was 12. He was awesome.

Luke Skywalker went to the Jedi temple

Obi-Wan Kenobi's force ghost materialized and noticed that Master Luke seemed perturbed, and so asked him what the matter was.

Luke replied "Ben, my life outside the Jedi Order is in shambles. It's mainly my marriage. It started off great, but something's changed in recent times. Drastical...

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