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Cantina Jokes

cue cantina music

A Jedi walks in to a bar. Having just returned from a great struggle, he and his companions are thirsty for strong refreshments. The Jedi leans over toward the bartender and says, "I want you to pour out a drink from every bottle except those three."

As he begins pouring a vast array of sho...

What kind of music do they play at the Mos Eisley cantina? #StarsWarsJoke

Boogie Wookie.

I would have driven my date to the Mexican cantina....

But I didn't avocado

Juan arrives at the Mexico/US border

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on a bicycle. He's got 2 large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ou...

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Soldiers Walk Into A Bar...

It’s the height of the Vietnam War, and deep in the jungles U.S. Army Privates Chip and Dan have just been promoted to Sergeants.

Now Chip hasn’t always been the brightest bulb, and he’s been known to need some time to process big changes.

As Chip and Dan are doing their rounds one aft...

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.

An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town’s cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back t...

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

A Jedi apprentice was sitting in a local cantina as a pretty young lady came strolling in. She walks up to the bar and asks if the seat next to him was taken, to which he replied "no, it's all yours if you'd like to take a seat" they get to talking a little bit and he asks her "may i buy you a drink...

I translated an Ewokese joke into English

An Ewok marches into a cantina and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a Jawa Juice and …… Bantha milk.”
The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”
“Not sure,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life.”

*Yub Nub!*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An older man retires, and decides to move to Mexico

because his modest savings will go a lot further there. He tries, but really struggles to learn the language and local customs. Some days he’d sleep until noon and enjoy being retired…but a few days a week he made it a point to wake up early, fry a couple of eggs, and head into town to immerse himse...
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