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Yoda Jokes

Did you know Yoda had a last name?

Layheehoo.

What did Yoda tell Anakin after sleeping with Padame behind his back?

May divorce be with you

Baby Yoda's first word

Probably came after his second word.

What sound do Yoda’s sheep make?

Dey go baa!

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

"Yoda, are you sure we are heading in the right direction?"

Yoda replies: "off course we are"

Anakin Skywalker walks into a Taco Bell, and is shocked to find his master Yoda behind the counter

He asks what the Jedi master is doing there, to which he replies "Pay well, Jedi council does not. Work two jobs, I must." Fair enough, thinks Anakin. He orders his food, and reaches into his pocket to pay, when Yoda asks, "A beverage, would you like with that?" "Ok," says Anakin, "what do you recom...

Yoda and Obi Wan in a space ship

Obi wan asks: "are we going the right way?"

Yoda answers: "off course, we are"

What did Yoda say when he saw Star Wars in 4k?

>!HD … MI!<

Why was Yoda afraid of 7

Because 9 7 8

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. “Something for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a ...

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.

Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.

Yoda: Hello, welcome, you are.

Man: Hi, I'd like to book a triplex for the weekend.

Yoda: Sorry I am, only duplex we have.

Man: Are you sure? I really need the triplex.

Yoda: There is no tri,...

What is Yoda's favorite dinosaur?

The Do-ceratops. There is no tri.

Knock-Knock. Who is there? Yoda lady

Stop yodelling

What does Yoda say when he is drunk?

Dear me it appears I have imbibed alcohol in sufficient quantitiy to impair my speech

Disney finally released Yoda's last name. His full name is:

Yoda Lay-Heehoo

Yoda: Dark it is, the other side

Luke: Shut up and eat your toast.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

If Ani is short for Anakin, Obi is short for Obi-Wan, then what is Yoda short for?

He is short, for having small legs.

Why couldn’t Yoda work out that |7| = 7?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

What did Yoda say when the bakery was out of Pies?

Dough. Or Doughnut. There is no Pie.

Why was the woman turned off when Yoda said "Hello. My name is Yoda. It's nice to meet you."

He was being too forward.

Yoda is piloting a 747...

Radio tower: Flight 90 you seem to be veering away from your designated flight path. Stay on course. Over.

Yoda: Instrument panels, working not.

Radio tower: Flight 90, stay on course. Is everything okay? Over.

Yoda: Too many clouds, there are.

Radio tower: Flight 90. Ma...

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah. Suddenly, part of the ledge in front of them falls off. "Oh no, what do we do, master?" asked Luke. "Worry not" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out a giant 6-foot fork, lays it across the gap in the ledge, and they use it as a bridge.

Soon enough, they come to ...

What is Yoda's transport vehicle called?

Toyoda

What did Yoda say when he resisted getting electrocuted?

Ohm, I got!

What did Master Yoda attribute to keeping his sanity during all those years of solitude?

He said whatever you can do to pass the time anything to make the day-go-ba

Han Solo is chilling in his room when suddenly the light goes out.

He tries to fix the bulb, but after an hour of laborious effort, he gives up.

He heads over to Yoda's place to see if he can help. As Yoda opens the door, he spots a huge machine with flashing lights, beeping in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" he asks Yoda.

"A cloning m...

How does yoda pick up girls?

With force

Yodas name backwards spells adoy

Pretty obvious if you ask me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Yoda say during his toilet break while being late for a meeting?

Time for this shit, I do not have.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a brand new Baby Yoda buttplug?

A **Toy Yoda Pre-Ass.**

I came up with this in a hot parking lot and it just stuck in my brain.

Yoda would be a terrible navigation officer

If you were piloting a ship with him and asked him “Are we going the right way to Alderaan?”

He’d reply saying “Off course, we are”.

Why did the Republic grow distrustful of Master Yoda’s position as Grand Master?

Because he turned out to be a puppet

What type of car did Yoda eat?

A BMW i8

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't they let Yoda name the dinosaurs?

Because the do-or-do-not-ceratops sounds fucking stupid.

Luke Skywalker and Yoda are hopelessly lost on their journey...

Luke: Yoda, we've been walking for hours! Are you sure that we're going the right way?

Yoda: For the tenth time, told you, I have! Off course, we are!

Yoda's been tracing his family tree.

It's an evergreen.

because yoda was in charge of the jokes

why was the punchline in the title

Why was Yoda bad at geometry?

Because to him there are no triangles, only do-or-do-not-angles

What is Yoda’s last name?

Lay Hee Hoo

This whole time yoda has never revealed his last name. but I just found out

Layheehoo

Yoda and Chuck Norris got into a fight

Eversince then, Yoda has been speaking backward

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does baby Yoda poop when constipated?

He forces it out.

Why was Yoda afraid of 7?

Because 6, 7 8

What kind of car does Master Yoda drive?

A Volkswagen Jedi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Luke's Stories of Love & the Little Green Master

So Luke is telling Yoda about this hot alien female from Coruscant on whom he performed oral sex. After listening to his escapades, Yoda only had one word in response.


"Attenuate"

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

What did Yoda use to become a baby again?

A manDeLorean.

Yoda lady

Knock Knock

Who's there

Yoda lady

Yoda lady who?

*applause* wow nice yodeling!

Yoda has a brother called Will...

But he keeps introducing himself as William, and nobody knows why.

What did Yoda say when he moved to Menominee?

Now in U.P. MI !

Yoda must be the worst car guide ever.

Master Yoda, are we in the right direction?

Off course, we are.

If Yoda told a knock knock joke

Instead of saying "knock knock" he'd say

"Knock knock"

The Stormtrooper from Switzerland

After a long day of training in the force on Dagobah, Luke came back to Yoda’s tiny hut and noticed that he looked worried. Yoda went on to tell Luke that while he was away a stormtrooper from Switzerland came by and demanded to know where Princess Leia was.

Luke looked around scared and ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Yoda's last name?

"Lay Hee Whooo!"

Guys, I'm so sorry for posting this but my wife turned to me and asked this in all seriousness, then laughed her ass off when she told me the punchline. She's super proud of her terrible joke, and no I don't think Yoda is a Swiss mountain climber, I'm actually just really hap...

Yoda a bookshelf built

DYIng he is

What did yoda say to oni wan, Luke, and ray?

You guys down for a forcesome?

Why is Yoda such a good gardner?

Because he has two green thumbs.
(happy May the 4th)

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