What did Yoda say to Anakin on his wedding day?

May divorce be with you.

Obi Wan: “Yoda, why did the Star Wars movies come out 4,5,6,1,2,3

Yoda: “In charge of scheduling I was”

"Yoda, are you sure we are heading in the right direction?"

Yoda replies: "off course we are"

Baby Yoda's first word

Probably came after his second word.

Yoda's last name

Not many people know this, but Yoda has a last name. It's Lay Hee Hoo.

Why was the woman turned off when Yoda said "Hello. My name is Yoda. It's nice to meet you."

He was being too forward.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?

HDMI

Why is Yoda afraid of seven?

Because six, seven ate.

How does yoda pick up girls?

With force

What did Yoda use to become a baby again?

A manDeLorean.

Yoda is piloting a 747...

Radio tower: Flight 90 you seem to be veering away from your designated flight path. Stay on course. Over.

Yoda: Instrument panels, working not.

Radio tower: Flight 90, stay on course. Is everything okay? Over.

Yoda: Too many clouds, there are.

Radio tower: Flight 90. Ma...

Why was Yoda afraid of 7

Because 9 7 8

A struggling businessman named John approaches Yoda seeking financial advice

John asks Yoda “How is it that I am not rich? I work 80 hours a week, I kiss up to my bosses, I avoid my family, I stay away from romantic relationships, I never go out with friends, and yet still, I am not wealthy. Everybody told me that under capitalism, if I worked hard enough, I too could be ric...

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there's a long break in the ledge they can't cross.

"Something for this, I have." Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda's hovel, t...

Why were Star Wars episodes 4,5,6 released before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

Yoda: Dark it is, the other side

Luke: Shut up and eat your toast.

Yodas name backwards spells adoy

Pretty obvious if you ask me

‌‌Yoda i‌‌s w‌‌orking a‌‌t a‌‌ h‌‌otel a‌‌s a‌‌ c‌‌oncierge a‌‌nd a‌‌ m‌‌an w‌‌alks u‌‌p t‌‌o t‌‌he d‌‌esk

Yoda: Hello, welcome, you are.

Man: Hi, I'd like to book a triplex for the weekend.

Yoda: Sorry I am, only duplex we have.

Man: Are you sure? I really need the triplex.

Yoda: There is no tri, only du.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a brand new Baby Yoda buttplug?

A **Toy Yoda Pre-Ass.**

I came up with this in a hot parking lot and it just stuck in my brain.

What did Yoda say when he moved to Menominee?

Now in U.P. MI !

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?

Fifth time this week it is. Bored of seeing it i am.

How did baby Yoda grow to be so old?

Because he was vaccinated

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

Green thumbs, he has.

Yoda would be a terrible navigation officer

If you were piloting a ship with him and asked him “Are we going the right way to Alderaan?”

He’d reply saying “Off course, we are”.

Yoda and Obi-Wan

Yoda and Obi-Wan are flying through space in their ship.


Obi-Wan asks, "Are you sure we're going in the right direction?"

-

Yoda answers, "Off course, we are."

What kind of car does a Star Wars memorabilia collector drive?

a Toy-Yoda

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't they let Yoda name the dinosaurs?

Because the do-or-do-not-ceratops sounds fucking stupid.

Disney finally released Yoda's last name. His full name is:

Yoda Lay-Heehoo

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

Yoda's been tracing his family tree.

It's an evergreen.

What is Yoda's transport vehicle called?

Toyoda

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does baby Yoda poop when constipated?

He forces it out.

Yoda has a brother called Will...

But he keeps introducing himself as William, and nobody knows why.

What does Yoda say when he is drunk?

Dear me it appears I have imbibed alcohol in sufficient quantitiy to impair my speech

I can't thank you enough for telling me Yoda's last name!

Yoda Man!

What kind of car does Master Yoda drive?

A Volkswagen Jedi.

Baby Yoda’s friend will show you to his cheese making hut...

This is the whey.

What did yoda say to oni wan, Luke, and ray?

You guys down for a forcesome?

I was showing Yoda my new chinese cooking apparatus

He said 'wok it is called'

What did Yoda said to Princess Lea after separating with Han Solo

" May divorce be with you "

With all the Mandalorian hype, I had asked my rich uncle for a first edition toy Yoda for Christmas

But all he gave me was some junky old car.

What did Yoda say after borrowing E I E from old Macdonald?

E I E, I owe

A man is walking with yoda and asked him if they are in the correct route.

Yoda then replied "Off course, we are"

This whole time yoda has never revealed his last name. but I just found out

Layheehoo

Why was Yoda afraid of 7?

Because 6, 7 8

What is Yodas favourite dinosaur?

A Do-ceratops...

Because there is no try.

What did yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnelvision? (OC... you can probably tell)

All ICY is you!

What noise do sheep make where Yoda’s from?

Dagobah.

Toys R Us

Said the stuffed Yoda doll to its stuffed padawans.

Why doesn't the baby Yoda talk in the Mandelorian?

He's got a frog in his throat.

Yoda must be the worst car guide ever.

Master Yoda, are we in the right direction?

Off course, we are.

Why was Yoda bad at geometry?

Because to him there are no triangles, only do-or-do-not-angles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anakin, obiwan and yoda are sitting round a table playing poker

They’ve played a number of rounds until Anakin has built up quite a big pile of chips

Suddenly his face lights up as he sees he’s got a nearly unbeatable hand.

Feeling lucky he force pushes all of his chips to the centre of the table

Obi wan: don’t try it

Anakin: I’m goin...

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah. Suddenly, part of the ledge in front of them falls off. "Oh no, what do we do, master?" asked Luke. "Worry not" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out a giant 6-foot fork, lays it across the gap in the ledge, and they use it as a bridge.

Soon enough, they come to ...

Luke Skywalker and Yoda are hopelessly lost on their journey...

Luke: Yoda, we've been walking for hours! Are you sure that we're going the right way?

Yoda: For the tenth time, told you, I have! Off course, we are!

Yoda use to have the younglings put on white face paint and pretend to walk against the wind, be trapped in invisible boxes, you know...

Jedi mime tricks.

Why is Yoda such a good gardner?

Because he has two green thumbs.
(happy May the 4th)

For the Star Wars Lovers

Obi-Wan: Why did the movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9?

Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.

What did Yoda say about the musical theater production that he hated?

"LAME IS."



Happy Star Wars Day.

Yoda a bookshelf built

DYIng he is

What type of car did Yoda eat?

A BMW i8

How does yoda feel about extra taxes on alcohol?

Backwards, the sintax is.

May the 4th be with you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Yoda's last name?

"Lay Hee Whooo!"

Guys, I'm so sorry for posting this but my wife turned to me and asked this in all seriousness, then laughed her ass off when she told me the punchline. She's super proud of her terrible joke, and no I don't think Yoda is a Swiss mountain climber, I'm actually just really hap...

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