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A man is driving along a dusty old back road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution."

A man is driving along a dusty old back road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution."

Barely believing his eyes, he turns into an old truck stop - and sure enough - there's a big neon sign that says "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution."

He knocks and...

My mom got upset at me for mercy killing my brother when we were playing Call of Duty

I don’t understand

He didn’t even struggle when I pressed the pillow over his face

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A priest is riding a cab

A priest gets a taxi. While driving, the taxi driver is being extremely obnoxious. Every time the car gets into a small pit in the road, the taxi driver says "Fuck!" or "Shit!". The priest is silent. Then they accidentally hit a pothole, and the taxi driver goes "Motherfucker!". Then they hit a crac...

First post - have mercy

I wanted to research bestiality, but I felt I was going down a rabbit-hole.

im actually out of ideas please give me mercy mods

can a match box?
no, but a tin can.

You know what the terms "no mercy" and "dirty laundry" have in common?

No quarters.

A Frenchman is trying to get information out of an American via electric shocks.

The American says "Please, mercy!"

The Frenchman responds with "Ok", and turns up the voltage.

What did the Frenchman say when God gave him mercy?

Merci

A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy

As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said;

"I would like to buy some cyanide,"

The pharmacist asked her:

"why in the world do you need cyanide?"

She said:

"I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmaci...

Found this, i think you might enjoy, source in comments

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may c...

Walking through the forest, an atheist hears a rustling in the bushes. Turning, he sees a massive grizzly charging towards him!

He runs as fast as he can but trips over a stump and falls. As the bear raises a huge paw to strike, the atheist screams: "God! Help me!"

Time freezes. The bear becomes immobile, the forest is silent, and the river stops running. Then the atheist hears a powerful voice: "You have denied my ex...

A guy murders his parents.

He is presented in front of a judge and he begs the judge to show mercy while delivering his punishment.

The judge says to him, "You killed your own parents. Why would I show mercy to you?"

The guy looks at the judge and says, "Well, because I am an orphan."

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy.

The boy replies, “I’m an orphan, your honor.”

The Beggar Girl

In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden, and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she found herself soon homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

She used to occupy a stre...

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Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

 

Iron-man thinks about Pepper Potts hangs 5-gallon bucket on his shlong and walks 5 yards. Everybody praises him.

 


Spiderman thinks about Gwen Stacy hangs 20-gallon ke...

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The Sisters of Mercy Brothel

2 guys were taking a trip on a scenic byway in Rural America. Driving along, they see a billboard that shows a nun, and says 'Sisters of Mercy Brothel, 50 miles ahead'.

Stunned, they looked at each other. 'Did that say what I think it said?' one asked the other.

'I think so,' the other...

So there's this french murder running rampant around town.

One of his victims said "Mercy!" The french guy just said "you're welcome" and shot him

A long time ago, on the Island of Tridia,

A group of peculiar people dwelled in peace. They were a small, peace-loving group of individuals. They were peculiar for several reasons: they were all extremely short, the tallest of them coming to a whopping meter in height; they were zealously religious, but they had no particular religion; and ...

What would the Sisters of Mercy be called if they were Canadian?

Sisters of Merci.

The tale of the blond horse back rider.

A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action.

As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror,...

Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution

A man is driving down a highway on a business trip when he sees a sign that says “Sisters Of Mercy: House of Prostitution - 5 Miles”. He blinks, and imagines he read it wrong until he sees another sign saying the same thing, at 2 miles. Now he’s curious. The next sign tells him to turn left, so he...

The Sisters Of Mercy

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 10 Miles. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says Sisters ...

Sisters of Mercy

A guy is driving down the highway late at night, when he sees a sign that said, "Sisters of mercy: House of prostitution" 3 miles. Thinking he must be tired and seeing things, he gives it no more thought.

Further down the road he sees another sign that said, "Sisters of Mercy: House of Prost...

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The Magic Wand.

A man and a woman lived in the outskirts of a city. The man was a famous magician who would often go on tours to various cities. This time the tour was longer than usual.

The man and his wife had a very strange but a meaningful relationship. Being very paranoid, the man made his wife promise...

The best thing you could ask Santa in 2021...

...is mercy.

Ruth is the only person that i show mercy to

If i didn't have her, I'd be completely Ruthless

Sisters of Mercy Brothel

A man is in middle of long, boring drive when he sees a sign on the side of the road that says "Sisters of Mercy Brothel, 50 miles".
He's a little taken aback and thinks he read it wrong, and he keeps driving.
Am little while later he sees another sign, "Sister of Mercy Brothel, 10 miles".
...

What did Putin say to a starving Ukranian family after they asked for mercy?

Oh Crimea a river vould ya!

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are in a plane that crashes in the Amazon...

They are swiftly captured by a tribe of cannibals. The leader of their tribe tells them that outsiders from the sky are to be sacrificed for the good of the people. They will be cooked alive, the village will feast on their flesh, they will make weapons from their bones, and use their skin for canoe...

A man is in court

(Long but worth it)

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."
Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."
Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the spot, you ...

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WW2: an Italian officer, an imperial Japanese officer and a German officer got captured

They all sit in a cell and wait to be interrogated by the Allies.
The German says: "My superior genetics will let me withstand every torture! I won't tell them anything!"
The Japanese says: "I will never dishonor my country and tell them our secrets!"
The Italian says: "I guess I'm fucked."...

I had a court date this month. I screamed about my innocence and begged them for mercy.

I did not get picked for jury duty.

Came up with this when I was 8, have mercy.

What do you call a crazy person on the moon?

A lunartic.

I asked my idiot friend what "mercy" meant.

He said it was French for Thank you.

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Drown that bastard! No mercy!

Nana please... this is a baptism.

An English soldier is captured by the French and is sentenced to execution

Unfortunately for him, screaming “mercy” at the top of his lungs only hastened the process.

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At the gates of heaven Gabriel is deciding fates.

A man walks up ranting of misfortune. When asked why he's so mad he explained

" I was sure my wife was cheating on me. So one day I left work early to catch her in the act. When I walked into our apartment she was surprised. Nude and sweaty so I knew someone was there. I look under the bed i...

Honourable Minister

A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig.

It was his first offence and the Judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy.

So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future.

The man removed his cap and thanked the ...

I lost two men this morning.

I couldn't help to catch them before they slipped out of my palm. Upon their impact, they managed to come up to the surface dangling, struggling to float but alas the boiling hot temperature showed no mercy on them and their bodies swollen, loosened to the point they began to break into pieces , slo...

A devout Muslim decides to go skydiving

He jumps off the plane and when it's time to open his parachute he pulls the cord and nothing happens. As he is hurtling towards the ground, he starts praying to Allah and the prophet Muhammad for mercy. Miraculously, a giant gust of wind picks him up and and begins to slow his fall. Surprised by t...

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Australian, are hiking through the South American jungle

When all of sudden, they see a crystal clear pool at the foot of a mountain. They're all hot and tired, so naturally, they strip off and jump in, and to their surprise, that are captured by natives. They are brought in front of the chief and told that the pool is sacred. He tells them that they are ...

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Three Olympic athletes are at an elite training camp

The instructor was a tough, but attractive woman. She planned to give the athletes exercises that would make them beg for mercy



'What's your event?' she asked the first athlete


'Pole vault' he says


'You will spend the next hour pole vaulting!' barks the inst...

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A boy is born with no body

The poor guy had no arms, legs, or body and was just a head kept alive to the mercy of machines.

He sat by the window, day in and day out watching all the other boys play baseball in the field across the street, the dogs sprint to catch their frisbees, and the birds fly around so gracefully. ...

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Labial Nip and Tuck

A woman plans a labial nip and tuck surgery to reduce the size of her labia.

The surgery goes perfectly, and when she awakes after her surgery, she sees two large vases of beautiful flowers in her room.

She looks at the card from the first set of flowers. It reads:

“Dear Gina,...

An old joke from about 100 years ago that's actually somewhat amusing

A Milwaukee man and his wife recently received a call from an old friend whom they had not seen for years. Just before the three sat down to a little supper in the German style, the wife, seizing a favorable opportunity, whispered to her husband:

"We have only three bottles of beer in the hou...

Alabama friend

So I was talking with my friend who lives in Alabama:

Him: I have to get a gift for my Sister my Mom and my Girlfriend

Me: Dang that's a lot of money what are you thinking?

Him: It's not a lot of money I only have to buy one gift.





PS: I am not good with s...

Be careful what you wish for.

Somewhere in Africa this lion was chasing this christian. When the lion caught up with him, the lion knocked him to the ground with one swipe. The stunned christian got up on his knees and offered a prayer to god saying dear god please make this lion a christian lion so that maybe he will have mercy...

In getting tired of the jehovah witnesses.

They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"

An airplane crashes on an uncharted island.

Out of everyone on board only 3 people survive, Bob, Jerry, and Rick. When they awake they have been captured by an indigenous tribe. As they beg for their survival the tribe leader speaks up.

Tribe leader: “you three have survived a big crash and are very lucky. As an act of mercy we will l...

Helium walks into a bar.

Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...

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A US senator died and went to heaven.

When he gets to heaven Saint Peter is waiting for him at the pearly gates.
Peter says: "Oh a Senator huh? Well we have a special deal for you! Since you spent your life trying to reach across the aisle to both parties we give you 24 hours in both heaven and hell and at the end of 48 hours you g...

Two thieves go to the church with their loot to confess..

.. their sins to the lord. They both decide to offer some part of the gold they robbed to the church to wash away their wrongdoings. But they couldn't decide how much of each of their loots to offer.

The first one thinks for a minute, draws a foot long circle on the floor and says, "Oh lord, ...

A Bunch Of Men Died In An Accident And Went To Heaven...

when they got there, God told them to line up at His right if in their lifetime, they had been head of their household, and at His left if they weren’t.

God was surprised to see that only one man was standing at His right, so He said, “All of you at My left, shamed you should be! A man shoul...

Love Story

I will seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished...

Ugh, French people are such cowards

I saved one and he just kept begging for mercy

A orthodox priest, a catholic priest and a rabbi ..

Walking in the dessert and find a suitcase with 3 mil $.

They talk and decide to split the money evenly,but then the catholic priest says:

" Wait, god gave us this money by his will, so i think we should give something back to him for his mercy."

They all agree but each has a di...

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I had a rough time in Vegas last year and ended up losing all my money.

It was time to get back home, but I'd lost so much money, I couldn't afford to pay for a cab to the airport.

When I asked the only cabbie on the strip for a little mercy, and vowed to pay wire him the cash, or to give him the rolex on my wrist, he laughed, and spat in my face.

I did...

'One day, in ancient Egypt, Bastet went to her temple for a meal, but found that her priests were late.'

'She was quite annoyed, but they had served her well for many years, so when one of her priests arrived, she gave him the opportunity to explain himself.

'"Oh, great Bastet, please show mercy on us, your humble servants! A stranger with a strange god has come and is making demands of the Pha...

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A German Man, A Swedish Man, and an Israeli Man Are Kidnapped by ISIS

“Listen up infidels,” says the ISIS member, you have on last with before I kill you.”

The German pleads for mercy, “Germany has always embraced your people, what have I done to deserve this ?” After no answer, he deicdes he wants sausage and a good beer.

Next, the Swedish man screams a...

A priest was pulled over while driving for speeding

The priest said to the officer: “Blest are they who show mercy, as they will receive mercy”

The officer responded back, giving a ticket: “Go, and sin no more”

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[NSFW] An Englishman, a Belgian & a Frenchman are stranded on an island and captured by a local tribe

Now the tribe leader tells them he will let the ones live who can complete his two requests.


They all agree and await the leader’s first request. So the leader says: “You each must bring me 100 of a fruit of your choice. You must collect it on this island and bring it here within the nex...

A man murders both his mother and father.

During his trial the man pleads to the judge and says, "Give me mercy! Afterall, I'm an orphan!"

Three men are walking through Saudi Arabia

They however get falsely accused for drinking and are taken to the judge who sentences them all to 50 lashes each.
The men beg and plead for mercy and fight for their innocence.
The judge takes pity and says, "I will let all of you have one wish before receiving the lashes".
The first man a...

What did Lori Laughlin's husband say in the court hearing?

Have mercy.

In the prison shower

A man is being send to prison, on the first day in the shower he is approached by a giant muscular inmate who asks him intimidatingly

"With or without spit?!"

The man thinks to himself that it will happen no matter what and that it might hurt less with spit so he frighteningly stamme...

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A Japanese man, an American, an Englishman, and a Mexican are in a plane. The plane's about to crash.

The pilot says over the intercom "The plane is about to crash, but if we jettison the cargo, we may be able to get back up."

The cargo is jettisoned, but there is no significant effect.

The pilot then says "The plane can only support one man other than me and the copilot, so the three ...

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