My son asked me, "What happens to the spiders that gets hoovered up?"

"They Dyson."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the late 1800's when bananas first started gaining popularity in the United States, banana groves weren't the safest of places. There were monkeys pooping all over, porcupines, venomous spiders and snakes in the groves. This caused problems not just for the pickers, but for consumers as well

Anyway Americans started demanding that their bananas be inspected before being imported, so the banana companies started placing stickers on bunches of bananas to indicate they were safe to eat. Of course the banana companies were still cutting corners. The groves still had monkeys, porcupines, sna...

People in Iran are scared of spiders

But in Iraq, no phobia.

Why don't spiders need phones or computers?

They're on the web anyways.

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On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

Where do spiders seek health advice

WebMD

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To this day, biologists still cannot figure out the two greatest mysteries about spiders:

Where the fuck did it come from?

Where the fuck did it just go?

What do you call a place with loads of spiders?

Website

I would assume spiders adapt pretty quickly to online learning.

After all, they are already comfortable on the web.

Girls hate me as much as spiders.

But hey they can bite people why can’t I.

I took a class about spiders

thanks to the pandemic, it was on the web

If spiders went to college what would be their favorite class?

Web design

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a sweet little spider...

There once was a sweet little spider

who thought a dark corner would hide her.

Whilst a fly she was shucking

A dyson came sucking

Was I sad? No 'cause fuck little spiders.

What's the best way to deal with spiders in your office?

Hire them for web development.

What do you call a spider with lots of kids from many different spiders of whom he never married?

A Baby-Daddy Longleg

Did you know spiders go deaf if they have no legs?

Well it’s true and here’s why.

When I was a child I had a pet a spider. It was great I even trained him to jump. ‘Jump’ I’d shout and with a boing he’d leap into the air.

Well my brother saw this and in a jealous rage he pulled the spiders legs off!

I was heartbroken. ‘Jump’ I’...

What’s a spiders favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

They like to surf the web!

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Today I asked my daughter for a phone book...

She said "you're such a boomer" and handed me her phone.

So, now, the spiders dead, my daughters phone is broken, and she's really pissed at me now..

How do spiders look something up?

They go to the web.

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There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years, with peculiar experiments on spiders.

After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he was finished and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings. At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The m...

I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants.

I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

What text emojis do spiders use when they are happy?

::::D

So you know the fear of spiders is arachnophobia? What’s the fear of chainsaws?

Common sense.

Why are spiders so fast?

They use the World Wide Web.

A boy asks his father for a spider for his birthday.

The father stops by the pet shop on the way home from work to find out more about spiders.



“What does one of those big ones cost?” the father asks, pointing into the glass case full of the arachnids.



“About fifty dollars,” the store clerk replies.



“Fifty ...

Whats a Spiders Favorite Fast Food Item

French Flys

I hate spiders when they eat flies

They are such buzz kills

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What do you call the fear of spiders crawling up your butt?

Arachnoprobia

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