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Medusa Jokes

What did Perseus say after he killed Medusa?

Let's get Kraken.
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If Medusa, King Midas, and Oedipus raised a child together

That would be one stone, gold motherfucker

If a Pomeranian looked Medusa in the eyes...

...it would become a pomegranite.
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I’ve fought Medusa before.

At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.
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Every job Medusa had, she had to go through sexual harassment training.

She couldn’t stop objectifying people.

What is Medusa’s favorite vegetable?

Asp-hair-agus!
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Me: *stares at medusa's breasts.* Medusa: "My eyes are up here."

Me after looking: *gets rock hard*

I once saw Medusa on a cam girl site

I was rock hard the entire time
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Medusa is the best drug dealer

One look and I'm stoned
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Medusa was the hottest woman ever.

Every man who looked at her got rock hard.
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Why did Medusa have so many husbands?

Everyone she looked at went hard
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What is Medusa's favorite type of cheese?

Gorgonzola
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My girlfriend Medusa is coming over tonight

Boy, one look at her and she makes me as hard as a rock
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Medusa must have some really sexy eyes

I mean they get everyone rock hard

What does Medusa and Marjuana have in common?

They both can get you stoned
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Why did the pothead lose his battle against Medusa?

He was stoned.
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What does Medusa have in her dating profile?

Beware: I'm drop dead gorgeous.
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What's Medusa's favorite cheese?

*Gorgonzola*!



....



OK, I'll show myself out.....
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Why did Medusa order pizza?

Her boyfriend was stoned.
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Hey girl, are you Medusa?

Because you’re green. Why the fuck are you green?

My friend saw Medusa the other day

At first he was afraid and scared, but now he's petrified at the thought of seeing her!
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Medusa really loved art.

She was fascinated by still life.
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Them: What if Medusa turned you to cheese instead of stone?

Me, an intellectual: Ah yes, Gorgonzola
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I went out for a drink with Medusa

I ended up getting stoned instead.
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What kind of cheese did Medusa eat?

Gorgon zola.
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Why is Medusa such a good pornstar?

Anyone who looks at her will get rock hard immediately.

In Greek Mythology, the Gorgon sisters Stheno, Euryale, and Medusa had the power to turn anyone who looked at them into stone.

But few people know that there was a fourth Gorgon sister named Zola.

She had the power to turn her enemies into cheese.
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I hear Medusa was quite the catch

She could make any guy hard with just one look
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What did all of Medusa’s boyfriends have in common?

They were all rock hard.
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Who's the one person Medusa cannot turn to stone?

Dwayne Johnson
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Medusa may not be the most beautiful woman alive..

But she still gets me rock-hard
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Hey girl, are you a math medusa?

Cuz looking at you makes me feel number.
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Why are all the girls jealous of medusa?

Cause any guy that looks at her gets rock hard
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Medusa must be the most beautiful woman in the world

The moment you look at her you get hard.
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Listen, I'm a simple man

I see Medusa, I
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Little known fact: Medusa was actually incredibly attractive...

Every guy who saw her got hard as a rock immediately.
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Why is Medusa not invited to Pride?

Because she likes to Stone Gaze
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What’s the similarity between Medusa and Drugs?

They both leave you stoned
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I don't understand why Medusa has such a bad rep.

Nobody that's met her has ever said anything bad about her.
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Medusa must have been the sexiest girl to ever exist

All the guys that saw her turned rock hard

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If Medusa had big boobs, she’d be highly ineffective towards men.

But then men quickly become hard when they look at her.

Did you hear about Medusa's short lived stand up career?

She always faced a tough crowd.
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Last night I stumbled across some Medusa porn

I got rock hard.

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I have an unhealthy sexual attraction towards figures in Greek mythology ever since

\
I laid my eyes on Medusa. Been rock hard ever since.

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NSFW So i walk into a dungeon and see a giant pair of boobs...

I soon realized they belonged to Medusa!

She says "Umm, my eyes are up here?"

Me: Already rock hard.

Which monster likes weed the most?

Medusa. She’s a total stoner.
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What do you call a woman who's good at both cheese-making and singing?

Medusa - she does a killer gorgon solo.
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A little boy... Nfw'ish

So a little boy ran past a cop screaming bloody murder so the cop grabs him by the arm and settles him down.

Holding onto his shoulders he look in the boys tear stained eyes and asks

"son what happened?"

The boy snivels up a snot bubble and answers the cop

"Well officer ...
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Who is the most attractive Greek mythological figure?

I don't know about you, but Medusa always gets me rock hard.
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