Medusa is the best drug dealer

One look and I'm stoned

Went on a date with Medusa…

It was awkward. I was rock hard the whole time.

Had an argument with a Medusa a while ago.

We never saw eye to eye

What is Medusa’s favourite kind of cheese?


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If Medusa, King Midas, and Oedipus raised a child together

That would be one stone, gold motherfucker

What did Perseus say after he killed Medusa?

Let's get Kraken.

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The sexiest mythological creature is Medusa

Whenever I see her I get rock hard

What's Medusa's favorite cheese?



OK, I'll show myself out.....

My friend saw Medusa the other day

At first he was afraid and scared, but now he's petrified at the thought of seeing her!

Why did Medusa have so many husbands?

Everyone she looked at went hard

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Me: *staring at Medusa's boobs*

Medusa: "Hey buddy, my eyes are up here."

Me: *already rock hard*

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Medusa must have some really sexy eyes

I mean they get everyone rock hard

Medusa must have been super hot.

Every guy that looked at her got rock hard.

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Why is medusa tha sexiest woman?

One look at her and youre rock hard!

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Hey girl, are you Medusa?

Because you’re green. Why the fuck are you green?

What does Medusa have in her dating profile?

Beware: I'm drop dead gorgeous.

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I have an unhealthy sexual attraction towards figures in Greek mythology ever since

I laid my eyes on Medusa. Been rock hard ever since.

I went out for a drink with Medusa

I ended up getting stoned instead.

Hey girl, are you a math medusa?

Cuz looking at you makes me feel number.

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Why is Medusa such a good pornstar?

Anyone who looks at her will get rock hard immediately.

Little known fact: Medusa was actually incredibly attractive...

Every guy who saw her got hard as a rock immediately.

If a Pomeranian looked Medusa in the eyes... would become a pomegranite.

Who's the one person Medusa cannot turn to stone?

Dwayne Johnson

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I doubt that men were turned into stone only by looking at Medusa's face.

I'm sure they looked at her boobs too.

Medusa must be the most beautiful woman in the world

The moment you look at her you get hard.

What did all of Medusa’s boyfriends have in common?

They were all rock hard.

What do people do at a party with Medusa?

They get stoned

I wish Medusa would stop objectifying me.

Sometimes I think she has a heart of stone.

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Medusa must have been the sexiest girl to ever exist

All the guys that saw her turned rock hard

Medusa may not be the most beautiful woman alive..

But she still gets me rock-hard

I hear Medusa was quite the catch

She could make any guy hard with just one look

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If Medusa had big boobs, she’d be highly ineffective towards men.

But then men quickly become hard when they look at her.

Medusa makes cheese nowadays


Why are all the girls jealous of medusa?

Cause any guy that looks at her gets rock hard

Best pick up line: Is your name Medusa?

Cause you're making me hard

What’s the similarity between Medusa and Drugs?

They both leave you stoned

Why did Medusa order pizza?

Her boyfriend was stoned.

I don't understand why Medusa has such a bad rep.

Nobody that's met her has ever said anything bad about her.

What kind of cheese did Medusa eat?

Gorgon zola.

Medusa really loved art.

She was fascinated by still life.

Why is Medusa not invited to Pride?

Because she likes to Stone Gaze

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Last night I stumbled across some Medusa porn

I got rock hard.

What does Medusa often say to guys before she turns them to stone?

My eyes are up here.

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?


Which monster likes weed the most?

Medusa. She’s a total stoner.

What do you call a woman who's good at both cheese-making and singing?

Medusa - she does a killer gorgon solo.

Did you hear about Medusa's short lived stand up career?

She always faced a tough crowd.

Listen, I'm a simple man

I see Medusa, I

What's the best weed strain?

Medusa, it always gets you stoned.

A little boy... Nfw'ish

So a little boy ran past a cop screaming bloody murder so the cop grabs him by the arm and settles him down.

Holding onto his shoulders he look in the boys tear stained eyes and asks

"son what happened?"

The boy snivels up a snot bubble and answers the cop

"Well officer ...

Who is the most attractive Greek mythological figure?

I don't know about you, but Medusa always gets me rock hard.

Have you heard of Mechadusa?

She's like Medusa, but instead of turning people to stone, she turns them into simple machines.

I was skeptical at first... but then I saw her face. Now I'm a big lever.

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