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Francois Jokes

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Anniversary dinner date

For their 1st wedding anniversary, Barbara and Teddy went to dinner at Chez Francois because they had never been there before.

For their 10th wedding anniversary, Barbara and Teddy went to dinner at Chez Francois because it had a world-class bartender who made the best signature cocktails....

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My pet turtle Francois

When I was a kid, I had a pet turtle named Francois. He was just a red eared slider, but I thought he was the coolest thing ever.

One summer, I went to camp, and Francois died. My father was the worst at breaking bad news, so he said Francois was alive and well -- and living with my mother. ...

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Francois Francois, ze Great French Aviator

A woman goes to a lounge in France, where she is approached by a tall, well-dressed, dashing man.

"I am Francois Francois, ze Great French Aviator," he says, "and I want to make love to you."

"Yes," the woman replies, "take me to your apartment."

At Francois' apartment, the two ...

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Why did Jaques hate Francois' food fetish?

It was a pane in the ass.

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Few scientists were wondering on how well humans cope with hopeless stress

Scientists decide that sending 3 men to a deserted island for 5 years with no hope of rescue or assistance would be a good indicator.

The United States, France, and China each offer up 1 person for the study and they all get sent to their fate.

5 years later a helicopter lands on the i...

There was a boy named Mohammad who went to school in France... (Warning: Offensive)

Mohammad entered his school classroom.

"What is your name?" Asked the teacher.

"Mohammad", answered the boy.

"Here in France, there is no Mohammad.
From now on your name will be Jean-
Francois", replied the teacher.

In the evening, Mohammad returned home.
<...

Shipwrecked Mime

A traveling theater company boards a ship to the Pacific. The ship sinks and three men find themselves in a lifeboat: Francois the mime, Leo the juggler, and Thomas the producer.

Leo and Francois have always been best friends, but Francois has lost a lot of blood in the wreck and doesn't have...

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Barack Obama Bar Jokes

During a World Economic Summit, Barack Obama, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French President Francois Hollande are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued....

Bill O’Reilly calls President Obama and asks him what he’d like most for the holidays.

“I couldn’t possibly accept gifts in my position,” said Obama.

The TV host insists and said he could ask for anything, no matter how big or small.

“Well,” said Obama, “If you insist I suppose I could accept a dozen Titleist Pro V1’s (golf balls). My game is off and lately I seem to be ...

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