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Je Jokes

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

When my wife said “Je t’adore!”

I said “Shut it yourself!”

what did the french trademark lawyer say to his wife?

Je ™

Today, I decided to donate all my worldly possessions and give myself up to Jesus

It's pretty hard to say no to a Mexican dude with a knife.

Don't know what it is about French ducks...

...but they have a certain je ne sais quack about them.

Never use phrases from another language

unless what you’re trying to say requires a certain *je ne sais quoi.*

What do you say when you suspect the 'Son of God' to be the impostor in Among us?

Je-sus :)

My husband's most recent musing:

Is an ignorant duck a "Je ne sais quack?"

Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me

It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain

So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)


<...

Apparently, Google is not that smart as people think

Recently I asked Google Translator, how "Je ne sais pas" is translated, and it replied: "I do not know".

I've noticed a lot of translated jokes lately, and wanted to try one myself

so here's one translated to Klingon:

'ar SuvwI' screw neH lightbulb tlhap 'oH?

chay' yong chaH pa' je wa'DIch Daq Sovlu'chugh vIneH!

call me an idiot but what does bakka mean?

Also I don't know what je ne sais quoi means either

What did the salesperson say to the little boy wanting a gold-plated dreidel?

“Je-wish!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the first Christmas and the first of the three wise men slowly approached the stable and gingerly crossed over the threshold into a big pile of horse ...

Looking down at his gold slippers he let out a shriek---" Je-sus Christ!"

The woman at the manger turned to her companion and said,"Joseph,that's a better name for the kid than Irving."

Did you hear about the board game which traps you in a mystical world of French cuisine from which you must eat you way out?

It's called "Je manger."

A girl calls a psychic saying:

*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*

Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*

--------

^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime

^Edit: ^Qrammar

A Muslim, Buddhist and Christian stands on a rooftop.

They all have great faith towards their respective God and agreed they jump from the rooftop of a 20-storey building and that they will be saved.

So the muslim, very firm in his belief, jumped first and started calling to Allah.
He chanted "AllahAllahAllahAllahAllah....." repeatedly with g...
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