I bought a chessboard cake from the bakers last week.
Took one bite, looked up, and said "it's stale mate".
He seemed surprised, said "no, mate".
So I handed him the cake and said "check mate".
Why is the British weather like Islam?
Because it's either Sunni or Shi'ite
Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President
First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI:
Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.
CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.
Trump: The Democrats created them.
CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you w...
I just read something about weather in England:
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._
In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK po...
Two English Muslims go on holiday in Spain...
Two English Muslims go on a long holiday in Spain, and they're having a wonderful time until one day the weather turns and it rains for three days straight. On the fourth day, one of them looks out of the window in the morning.
"Ahmed, I think we can visit some of the local buildings today. W...
What's the difference between a meteor and a meteorite?
Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then :)
Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?
He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.