I bought some shoes with memory foam insoles. I was so excited about them! I told my wife I can’t wait to wear them, they have memory foam! I want memory foam underwear! She said “your underwear shouldn’t remember anything.”
An insolent teenager stomps off to her room...
Teenager: "And another thing - JIM MORRISON SUCKS!"
Dad: "Hey! There'll be no slamming of the Doors in this house!"
Insolence! Tonight my neighbor actually rang my bell at 4 o'clock in the morning!
I almost dropped the drilling machine.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.
Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.
The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...
The French word for shoe insole is semelle,
which they often do.
The Fisherman and the Industrialist
One day, around noon, a fisherman is sitting on the docks, smoking his pipe, next to his haul for the day. A wealthy industrialist sees this and is positively confounded.
"Why aren't you out fishing?" demands the industrialist to the fisherman.
"I have caught all the fi...
Ukrainian mother-in-law joke
The morning after the wedding, the newlywed couple is sitting at the kitchen table when they are joined by the bride's mother. The husband, still slightly drunk from last night, decides that now is the proper time to display his manly authority.
He starts by calmly issuing his demands. "For b...
What do you do with an overly obedient pancreas?
Give it a shot of insolence.
A son and his Dad have an intense argument and the son storms off, furious.
Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".
His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM TH...
A poor farmer who lived in a small mining town came to its mayor and asked him if his son could marry his daughter.
The mayor angry at this insolent request, asked: "Why would I ever let your miserable kid marry my princess daughter?" which the farmer promptly replied: "Because he is the new general manager of the mines". The mayor, surprised and impressed with this information, ended up accepting his daughter's ...
A young private and an elderly officer on a train...
A young private and his commanding officer are on a train and they're sharing a compartment with a beautiful young lady and her father. The private and the young lady exchange glances much to the chagrin of her father.
A voice from the hall announces that they are approaching a tunnel. The yo...
The Tie Vendor
A member of ISIS, separated from his group after an attack, was walking through the desert near the point of death. He stumbles upon, of all things, a shop. He runs over to the shop and pleeds, "Water! Please give me water!"
The Jewish shop owner shakes his head, "I am sorry, sir. I only ...
On a bench, in the park, two lovers
are kissing passionately. At some point another man sits down next to them and starts staring at the woman. Eventually, her partner gets fed up by the staring and tells the other man: - I haven't seen such insolence in my whole life! - I'm sorry, I did not mean to disturb you, but I need to...