In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s disc...

Trump recommends injections with disinfectant to save thousands

True if he does it first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After deliberating for a long time, Kanye finally decided that Kim can no longer get new butt injections.

He's putting a cap on that ass.

I thought my doctor was helping me with these lumbar injections...

But come to find out, he was just stabbing me in the back.

I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes.

I usually end up stabbing the chair.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

News from School

Dear Mom and Dad,

It has been three months now since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not writing before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read further unless you are s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk.

She's got a false bottom in her drawers.


Just thought of that one today.

After years of saving Saul finally had enough money to get his eye transplant in China

His wife was opposed to the idea on moral grounds. His brother was worried he might lose what little sight he had now. His friends were worried that what he was doing wasn't entirely legal.

He dismissed them all one by one and finally bought his ticket and set off with grim determination. <...

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