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Injections Jokes

It’s no wonder why anti-vaxxers hate needle injections…

They always miss the point.

Trump recommends injections with disinfectant to save thousands

True if he does it first.

I thought my doctor was helping me with these lumbar injections...

But come to find out, he was just stabbing me in the back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After deliberating for a long time, Kanye finally decided that Kim can no longer get new butt injections.

He's putting a cap on that ass.

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.

“Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She loo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk.

She's got a false bottom in her drawers.


Just thought of that one today.

In the class on medical notions, the teacher asked the students to bring instruments used in a hospital.

In the class on medical notions, the teacher asked the students to bring instruments used in a hospital.

\- Susy, what did you bring?

\- A scalpel.

\- Who gave it to you?

\- My mother gave it to me.

\- And what did she say?

\- She said it's for cutting skin!...

Statistically...

9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny is in a bar

And sees Hitler in a stool raising a glass of Jagermeister. Every few minutes Hitler would raise his glass, toast and drink it back.

Johnny is watching this and after a few injections of liquid courage decides to approach him. “Hitler, what are you doing here?!”

Hitler responds, “I...

Pair of teats

Little Johnny's parent's ask him what he wants for his birthday.
> I want a pair of teats!

His parents are shocked, so they decide to wait another day before asking him again.


The next day, they ask him and he enthusiastically shouts
>I want a pair of teats!

<...

The nurse who kept getting it backwards

Man visits a friend in the hospital only to find the other patients in the ward looking a bit odd. "Lucy, what's going on with the other patients today?" said the man to his other half.

"Oh it's the new nurse" said Lucy, "She just keeps getting things the wrong way round! See that man over t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reality

Letter from Daughter to Parents

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,please sit d...

After years of saving Saul finally had enough money to get his eye transplant in China

His wife was opposed to the idea on moral grounds. His brother was worried he might lose what little sight he had now. His friends were worried that what he was doing wasn't entirely legal.

He dismissed them all one by one and finally bought his ticket and set off with grim determination. <...

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