UPJOKE
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Ah, “Instagram influencers”...

...I remember back when they were simply called hookers

What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major?

The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless.

What do you call an influencer with the corona virus...

An influenzer
But only if it goes viral...

How much does an Influencer weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't influencer work in nuclear plants.

Because they get paid just in exposure.

Have you heard of Cardi B’s sister, fitness influencer?

Her name is Cardi O

How can you tell the difference between an influencer and a computer scientist?

By checking how they pronounce the word “bios”

Did you hear about the influencer who became a suicide bomber?

At first he had barely any followers, but then he blew up.

Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?

Because his tick tock blew up…

whats the difference between a social media influencer and a bench??

one can support a family.

Someone people are good-looking enough for others to assume they must be an IG influencer...

People take one look at me and assume I have reddit.

What do pimples and social media influencers have in common?

They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a nasty scar until one day we forget they were ever there.

That's all guys, bye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a bus full of influencers driving off a cliff ?

A good fucking start

What’s the difference between Influencer and Influenza?

One wants to go viral, the other is already viral…

The influencer was diagnosed with paranoia.

He believed nobody was following him.

What is the weight of an influencer's brain?

One Instagram.

Why do Instagram influencers enjoy shopping at Walmart so much?

They just can't get enough of the self-checkout.

Three Instagram influencers walk into a bar...

...I know this because I just saw their story.

An Instagram influencer walks into a bar

They were too busy taking selfies.

What did the tulip farmer tell the social influencers who had trespassed to take pics?

I'm a grower not a shower.

What do social media Influencers and perverts have in common?

They both think people want their exposure.

A woman who had no degree, achievements, or useful skills, except for being good looking, used to be known only as a trophy wife

today they're mostly known as social media influencers

How does a Muslim influencer wish for sponsored posts?

Installah

Linkedin influencers

No body:

LinkedIn Influencers:

Yesterday I was walking to an interview. There was a starving dog on the road. I stopped to feed him & missed the interview. The next day I got a call asking to come in to do the interview. I was surprised, but I went. Then the interviewer came in. H...

How many influencers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to unscrew it and the other to put it in their mouth and see if they can pull it out.

Why are influencers afraid when they go to the woods alone at night?

They're constantly being followed!

Why do influencers always carry a pencil?

To draw attention

As the YouTube makeup influencers feuded with each other i couldn't help but wonder...

Had their relationship been built using a bad *foundation?*

A granpda asks his just graduated grandchild

Grandpa: So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?

Grandchild: I'm a model during the week, I'm a DJ in the weekends and an influencer by contract

Grandpa: I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed son, be patient

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tik tok < pornhub

I met a cute girl at bar recently she told me she was a tik tok influencer,

I said cool I’m on pornhub, maybe we should collab,

either way its only gonna last 10 seconds.

I just heard about IG influencers stripping down at Chernobyl

I guess they really want exposure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the man who had sex with an instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

I think Instagram made me sick

I got a bad case of influencer

Why do doctors hate popular Instagram accounts that only post in the spring?

Because they're seasonal influencers!

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