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Snapchat Jokes

My nickname is Snapchat....

My nickname is Snapchat because I only last 5 seconds and then disappear forever.

My ex used to call me Snapchat....

Because I'd only last for 10 seconds.

I unfriended an overweight friend on Snapchat.

My phone gained a gigabyte of storage back.

If Snapchat has taught me anything ...

... it's that a lot of today's teens look better as farm animals.

Snapchat and basketball are pretty similar for me.

Screen. Shot. Get. Blocked.

Why does Thanos love Snapchat?

It fits his personality like a glove.

The Windex snapchat isn't consistent with posts.

Guess it's because they don't like streaks.

My cute female friend said we should streak on Snapchat.

She did not mean what I thought she meant.

My daughter wanted to use a Snapchat filter on my face, but I wouldn’t let her...

I said, “It would make me feel E-mask-ulated.”

Priests around the globe protest as more and more male teenagers use the new Snapchat filter to fap to themselves.

As a countermeasure, next month Snapchat will release a baby filter.

i asked my wife to send me a naughty picture on snapchat...

so she sent one of our kids playing in my electronics drawer

Did you guys hear about that weird snapchat knockoff that only lets you send pictures of sausages?

It has the wurst ratings.

What is Thanos favourite social media?

Obviously Snapchat

What’s thanos’s favorite social media platform?

Snapchat

How do French people send photos of cats to each other?

They use Snapchat

What's thanos's favourite app?

Snapchat

How do the fallen avengers talk to each other?

Snapchat.

Thanos, Hulk, and IronMan created a group chat...

..It’s named SnapChat

Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Snapchat

Social media in a nutshell

Instagram: "I'm so pretty"
LinkedIn: "I'm so good at my job"
Twitter: "I'm so funny"
Snapchat: "I'm a dog"

Hey teacher, what’s an oxymoron?

“An oxymoron is a phrase or sentence that negates itself”
“What’s a good example?”
“r/snapchat”

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
.

....

When I first got my licence my mother always told me...

"It's not you I'm worried about, it's the other guys." Which is wrong.... Guys aren't the only problem. *pulls down visor mirror and applies eyeshadow, and lipstick while simultaneously posting to snapchat.*

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