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Indian Food Jokes

Relationships are like Indian food

They start out hot and spicy but end up with someone on the toilet crying and saying why me.

What do you call a person who is willing but hasn’t yet tried Indian food?

Curry-ious

Indian food is good for sleeping.

You doze off as soon as you hit the pilau.

What do you call an illogical joke about Indian food

A naan sequitur

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Made some Indian food for dinner the other night. While telling my wife what was in it, I said I'd used butter in one part, but wished I'd had some ghee instead. She looked at me quizzically, and I continued "Because it's more traditionally Indian."

"Ah," she replied. "Thanks for clarifying."

 

Note: this actually happened! She's a gem and I'm keeping her.

I'm writing a book about Indian food...

It's gonna be a naan-fiction.

If Bill Gates eats American food and Ghandi eats Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat?

fast food

They say a batch of Indian food would cure what ails you…

That was the first case of medically induced Korma.

My wife asked me how long our Indian food order would take.

I said, "How am I samosa know?"

I had Indian food for lunch and almost choked on it

Talk about a paneer-death experience

Indian Food.

I spent some time in India recently.

Some say that continuously eating spicy food causes one to lose their sense of taste.





I started listening to Michael Bolton.

Which U.S city loves Indian food the most...

Baltimore

Why must you be careful when making Indian food?

Because you don’t want to end up with bad Korma.

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip...

but he doesn't like Indian food.

so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number...

I was craving some Indian food yesterday...

...So I went and got subway.

Why do terrorists avoid Indian food?

Cause when you've got C-4 falling out of your ass, the last thing you need is sudden, explosive diarrhoea.

My girlfriend and I broke up today because she said she didn’t like Indian food.

I told her it was Naan negotiable

The last time I got Indian food I had a slight problem with the bread. I told them not to worry though.

It was a naan issue.

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Penises are a lot like Indian food...

Anything more than a mouth full is gonna be a pain in the ass later.

My wife always cooks Indian food for dinner, even though I hate it.

It's been a recurrying issue

Got into an argument with a colleague so I bought their favorite Indian food, to attempt to make up.

I tried to curry favor but they were having naan of it. I only managed to tikka them off more.

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Sex is like Indian food

It can taste good, but also rupture your anus.

Someone asked me whether or not I believed Indian food is healthy.

I told them I'm a naan-believer.

Did you hear about the Mexican restaurant that only serves Indian food?

Turns out the chef is a naan-conformist!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix Indian food and sex?

A Paneerial disease.

What do you get when you fuse Arab and Indian food?

Explosive Diarrhea

My friends and I wanted to get Indian food last night

My friends and I wanted to get Indian food last night, but none of us could decide where to go. After asking around for good places to get Indian food, we finally decided to go get sandwiches at that New Delhi everyone kept talking about.

What's it called when you throw Indian food at someone?

Naan-aggression.

What do you call a Vietnamese themed restaurant that only serves Indian food in Chinese take out containers?

PhoCurry.

A man moved to New York from India and he opened a lunch counter where he served traditional Indian foods and sandwiches to go. He decorated it in Indian style to remind him of his home city and hired his friends and neighbors from the old country to work there.

You might say he was setting up a little Delhi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Even after 20 years of marriage, my husband still reminds me how juicy my ass looked on our very first date...

Which really pisses me off, since he was the one who suggested Indian food.

I don't normally eat bread...

But today we had Indian food at work.

It was na'an negotiable.

They say that Indian Cooks are a jack of all trades...

But a master of naan.

My girlfriend said this to me when we were getting indian food tonight.

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