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Breast Implants Jokes

A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday.

This joke would be funny if it had a punchline

Wooden tit

What do you call the cleavage between breast implants?

Silicon Valley

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plastic surgeon was offering discounts on breast implants.

The sign read:

A sale of two titties

Do you think i should get breast implants ?

Nah

Just rub some toilet paper on ‘em

Do you think it will help?

It did wonders for your ass

Always wondered about using oak instead of silicon for breast implants

Be a lot firmer, wooden tit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said she’d like us to save money for her to get breast implants

I told her, “Why? All you need to do is rub some toilet paper between your breasts every day.”

She said, “What the hell is that going to do?”

I said, “I don’t know but it seems to have worked wonders on your ass.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend says, the new breast implants make her feel uncomfortable.

But, I think I look sexy.

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Apple breast implants

Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your mobile devices while browsing, as cupholders, and even as a self defence device. Future app updates will include anti jiggle functions, as well as an automated ...

What do you call breast implants that fall out and go missing?

Bolton Wanderers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a cheap guy at a restaurant and a worker packaging silicone breast implants?

One's a shitty tipper....

My blonde friend got breast implants

I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"

You hear about the girl-ghost who got accused of getting breast implants?

So rude. Everyone knows she’s got super-naturals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife tells her husband that she wants breast implants

Her husband says, "Why on earth would you want to do that? You look gorgeous exactly the way you are."

"But I'm not HAPPY!" the wife complains.

The husband replies, "Well, I want you to be happy. But we don't need to spend a ton of money on implants. All you need to do is rub some toi...

Breast implants are like potato chips.

You can't have just one.

The Tempur-pedic Mattress company has come out with a line of breast implants...

...They're mammary foam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the woman who stole the pair of breast implants arrested?

Identitty Theft

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Two breast implants were arguing. After very insulting comment the other replied:

”That was so low, now you’re making an ass of yourself.”

OC. Using my time on the train productively. Sorry.

Magic is like breast implants...

...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a crack house that sells breast implants?

A booby trap.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tech company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.

A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants...

They're up for grabs.

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.

“Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She loo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

I heard about people using cedar instead of silicon for breast implants, but think about if it happened to you, it'd be super weird,

Wooden tit

What's the difference between a dirty area where people wait for buses and a crab with breast implants

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a freak of nature able to somehow talk to humans about such matters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

iBoob

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained ab...

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