What did the woman say after she was hit on by the Pillsbury Doughboy?

"No thanks. I'm not into roll play."

Thor gets a hit on his tinder profile...

After a night of wild, unrestrained god-level passion he notices his date looks a little knackered.
Sorry, but I’m Thor. He says
The girl looks up and says, You’re Thor? I’m tho thor I can’t thpeak

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The four horsemen were riding across the world, when Death decided to hit on Pestilence.

He looks over at Pestilence, and with a tip of his cloak, says "M'alady."

Why did the guy with a lisp hit on the girl with the flu?

Because she was thicc

My Friend: How did you get hit on the head by a book?

Me: I only have myshelf to blame

I just came back from a coworker's funeral who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball..

It was a lovely service..

This lyft driver hit on me at the bar..

He had the worst pick-up lines.

I saw this guy trying to hit on a Cheetah

Just then I thought “He’s trying to pull a fast one”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife if I caught her fucking The Grateful Dead again, I'd order a mob hit on her.

Now she's sleeping with the Phish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy goes to church to hit on fat chicks...

He said he really enjoys Catholic mass.

How do you hit on a Jewish girl?

Tell her that she israeli hot!

Recently I keep getting hit on at work.

Turns out professional boxing is a lot harder than it looks.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit on the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Some guy hit on me at the keyboard store today

I told him he wasn't my type.

I was hit on by a linguist the other day

She asked me to conjugate, but I had to decline.

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl hit on me at the bar. It could have been an XXX scenario.

But she also had an L at the end.

I hate it when my teachers hit on me.

It sucks being homeschooled.

What happened to the tree when the lumber jack hit on it?

It got all sappy

So a deaf girl hit on me today...

It was a sign

This one time I was hit on by Anthony Kiedis.

I only had two options, either give it away... or flea

I hit on an older woman on a dating site and she rejected me by saying "is your dad available?"

So i responded to her by saying "yeah, but i dont think he is into threesomes."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fifteen Bucks

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free.

So he went out to the front of the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nurse at the ICU noticed a patient trying to say something through his oxygen mask.

Nurse: Sorry, what was that again?

Patient: Are my testicles black?

Nurse : Excuse me?

Patient : Are my testicles black?

The nurse was quite young and beautiful,and was used to getting hit on by patients. But seeing the state the poor man was in, she decided to check ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two women are playing golf...

The first woman teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed towards a group of men.

It hit one of the men and he immediately doubled over in pain clutching his groin. The women rushed over and began apologizing vehemently.

The man said, still in pain, said it was ok and told th...

I heard a great car joke the other day.

It really hit on all cylinders.

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