Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing golf. They step up to a par 3.

Jesus is up first. He drives the ball short, into the water trap in front of the green. So Jesus, being Jesus, walks on the water, chips the ball onto the green and putts for par.

Moses is next. He drives the ball into the same water trap. So Moses, being Moses, parts the water, chips the bal...

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A man is lined up to putt on the 8th hole with some friends

Out of nowhere a ball comes flying in and hits him. The man doubles over cursing and clutching his hands tightly to his crotch. His friends giggle at his misfortune as a woman comes running over apologizing.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry. I didn't see you gentleman when I teed off!"

T...

A Wife's diary......

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I sugges...

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Best pals, Frank and Paul, are out for a day of golf. On the third hole, Paul accidentally putts the ball into a field of buttercups. Determined to get the ball back onto the green, he demolishes half of the flowers in the process. As he raises his club to take another swing...POOF! Mother Nature

appears. "What have you done?!! As punishment for destroying my precious buttercups, you shall have no butter for your toast ever again. No butter for baked potatoes either. Actually, no. You shall have no butter for anything...for the rest of your life!" And then, POOF! She was gone.

In tota...

John is playing golf with the vicar

He misses a three foot putt, and says "damn, missed the buggar."

The vicar warns him "keep talking like that and God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning."

John then misses a two foot putt, and repeats "damn, missed the buggar."

Sure enough, God opens th...

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction.

When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems." So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.
A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Sin...

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The Nun's Story

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior, chatting.

"I used some horrible language this week, and I feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.

"Well I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go ov...

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A group of golfers get stuck behind a really slow group

Four golfers (a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer) are stuck behind a really slow group of golfers. They start to get frustrated, so they call up the course's pro.

"Hey, how come you're letting guys like this on the course? They're hitting their balls all over the place, spending wa...

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The Golfing Nun - and why life is never perfect.

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.


'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'


'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to...

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A golfer goes to confession

Forgive me father for i have sinned...

.."go on" says the priest. "I swore the other day" says the man. "continue" says the priest. "I was on the golf course the other day and i hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing...

A man goes into confession on his way home from the gold course

Forgive me Father I have sinned.

*Tell me what happened son*

Well, I used the Lords name in vain. I was out golfing this morning and hit the most beautiful drive of my life, straight as an arrow, it must've carried 300 yards, right down the middle of the fairway.

*So you got a l...

A young man goes into a confessional booth and confesses to the priest that he used the Lord's name in vain.

"Tell me what happened my child, so we may begin the path of forgiveness." Said the priest behind the curtain.

"I was golfing," began the man. "And my first shot went deep into the rough."

"Ah, and that is where you misused the Lord's name is it?" Replied the priest.

"No father,...

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A man goes into the confessional at church one afternoon...

“Father, I have sinned. I took the Lord’s name in vain, today.”

“My son, that’s a very egregious sin. Perhaps you could tell me the circumstances that led up to this.”

“Well, Father, I was golfing this morning- on the 16th green, two under par, when I chipped off into the rough.”
...

Putt Putt

Four men are out playing golf one afternoon. The contest is getting close and it all comes down to a 40 foot putt that Frank must sink in one shot.

He stands there, lining up his shot when a funeral procession starts rolling by on the street behind them. Frank pauses, pulls his hat off and pl...

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The golfer and the wee little man

A guy stands on the first tee on a beautiful Irish morning. It's a little par three but he still manages to slice it into the bush. Then he hears it hit something followed by a moan. Rushing into the woods he finds a wee little man dressed in green sprawled on the grass. He splashes water on the ...

A Priest, a Nun, and a Rabbi Are Playing Golf

The priest goes up to putt his ball. He putts and misses the hole.
“Goddammit, I missed!” the priest says.
The nun is taken aback. “Father, please watch your language.”
“I’m sorry, sister”, the priest replies.
The next hole comes and the priest putts again, and once again misses.
“Go...

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A sailor and a priest were playing golf.

The sailor took his first shot and it sliced wide right. The sailor said "Ah fuck, I missed."

The priest replied, surprised, "My son, you shouldn't speak that way or God will punish you."

The sailor took aim for his next shot and hooked it badly to the left, "I fucking missed again!"...

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The confession

A man went to his church for confession and he entered the confessional.

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned.”

“What is it my son? Did you commit adultery?”

“No Father I swore.”

“Very well begin your story”

“Well I was out at the Emerald Golf course and I was on h...

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A man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies, "Yes, father. I used the "F-word" over the weekend."

The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."

The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-wo...

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A priest and his friend are golfing.

The priest is ahead because his friend keeps missing easy putts. He watches in amusement as his friend misses another two-footer.

"Goddamnit! Missed! These just won't drop today," says the friend.

"Now, now, Jon," the priest said. "You shouldn't don't take the Lord's name in vain."
...

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A man is driving to work

A man is driving to work. While he’s waiting at a red light he hears a voice say; “Sell your car and your house and bring all your money to Vegas”. The man is a bit perplexed but decides to ignore it and carry on with his day.

The next day while driving to work he again hears the voice; “Sell...

Once there was a priest who loved golf as much as preaching ...

One fine Sunday morning he woke up to find the most perfect golfing weather. He was really torn between his two true loves. Finally he gave in and asked another priest to do the sermon. He quietly packed up his golf bag and slipped out the back of the church.

At the links he was having the m...

A man and his friend are playing golf at a local golf course one day.

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next the the golf course. He suddenly stops mid-putt, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
His friend looks at him bewildered and says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thin...

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan...

The night before his important meeting he decides to unwind with a hooker. As he's banging away, she screams "Nakamushi! Nakamushii!" not speaking much Japanese he assumes this is a complement to his outstanding performance.

His meeting the next day goes well and he's invited to play golf wi...

A regular golf course member is going for her regular solo 7:00am tee-off.

She makes a good putt to save par on the first green. As she walks along the long grass going to the second tee, she startles a wasp, and it stings her. Annoyed, but not wanting the event to ruin her day, she finishes her round.

When she gets to the clubhouse, she runs into the club pro....

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A grandfather, father, and son are paired with a very attractive woman for a round of golf

The three are amazed to find that this woman is an amazing golfer. She outplays them on almost every hold, and come up to the 18th green at 1 over par with a 20ft Birdie putt. She tells the three guys

"Alright, this is the first time I've ever had a chance at shooting par. Whoever correctly h...

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Guy goes to confession...

says, "forgive me father. I used profanity and said the lord's name in vain."

priest says, "please, tell me exactly what happened, my son."

"well father, i was playing golf and i was on a long par 4 and i sliced my tee shot into the trees."

"is that when you used profanities, my...

A young guy gets paired with an elderly stranger for a round of golf

A young guy gets paired with an elderly stranger for a round of golf. They're on the fifth green, the old guy is lining up a putt, when they notice a funeral procession passing by the course.

The man backs away from the putt, removes his cap, bows his head for a quick prayer, crosses himself...

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A man walks into confessional and says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned..."

The priest replies, "What is it that brings you here?"

"Well father, I used the F-word over the weekend."

"Oh is that all? Say five Hail Mary’s and may the Lord be with you."

The man replies, "but I really need to talk about it."

"Let’s have it then," the priest says as h...

What do you get when you cross a golfer and a plumber?

A putt crack.

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A man goes to confession to tell the priest he used a terrible word.

The priest asks him what happened.

The man says he was playing golf and hit a beautiful drive, but it sliced into the woods.

The priest asks, “is that when you said the bad word,” and the man says , “no Father, the ball hit a tree and ricocheted out of the woods but went into a sand tr...

Bill,a pro at the local golf course,and Ray,his longtime friend and caddy,went out golfing.

Bill was getting lined up for the most critical putt of his life.It would mean the course record and TenThousand dollars.When a funeral procession came by,Bill stops what he was doing,takes off his hat,holds it to his chest,and bows his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you,"Ray asks?"This i...

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So there's these three guys coming out of the golf clubhouse on a Friday night.

The gentlemen see a lady shooting left-handed on the practice green nailing 20 foot putts like it was nothing, so the guys ask, "Hey do you want to play a quick round?"

The Lady replies, "Sorry fellas, I just finished playing, but if you come back tomorrow morning at 10:00am, we can play a ro...

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[NSFW] An American business man travels to Japan for work

On his first night there, he decides to get a prostitute. They're going at it pretty good when she starts exclaiming "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"

He doesn't understand the language but assuming it must mean "great job!"

Fast forward to the next day, when he's golfing with his Japa...

A man goes to confession after a round of golf...

Man: Father, I took the Lord's name in vain while out golfing today.
Priest: That's ok, my son, golf is a frustrating sport, and we all slip up from time to time.
Man: No, no, I would really feel better if I could atone for my sin.
Priest: Well then by all means, tell my what happened.
M...

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man re...

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam join each other for a game of golf

The game is going well and all 3 are pretty even. On the 16th hole, the Rabbi drops it into a water hazard.
“Oh God, Come on!” He says, but immediately asks for forgiveness.
On the 17th hole, the Iman lines up a drive but shanks it wildly.
“God damn it!!!” He exclaims, but quickly gets on h...

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A man walks into church and sits in the confessional booth.

The priest sits down and the man says, "Forgive me for I have sinned. I was golfing yesterday and I cursed."

The priest replies, "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"Well," the guy says. "I was out on the seventh hole, and I'd just hit my best drive of the day. Straight ahead, d...

Two guys are playing disc golf...

The first guy throws his putt, it bounces off the basket and rolls back right past him. In exasperation he exclaims "I swear to God!" as the disc goes by. When the second player throws his putt, it goes wide but gets a lucky bounce off a nearby tree and ricochets back into the basket. In a fit of jo...

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Why I don’t play golf with Patrick anymore.

My wife asked me why I don’t play golf with Patrick anymore.

So I asked her, “Would you continue to play with a guy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt, and generally offends everyone around him on...

Two old men playing golf

Two old men are out on the golf course one morning playing their usual round of golf when a funeral procession comes down the street next to the green on which they are putting. One of the old men notices the procession and immediately stops in the middle of his putt. He calmly steps away from his b...

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Golfing buddies

After a big reception at the Vatican, the Pope invites Dave to a round of golf and Dave agrees. On the first hole, Dave misses a relatively easy putt and exclaims "Fuck! I missed!" The Pope tells him to please watch his language and they continue playing.

A few holes later, Dave misses anothe...

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A psychiatrist is going about his rounds one morning...

So a psychiatrist is going about his rounds through the institution one morning when he happens up to the door of his first patient. Peering through the little window, the doctor observes the patient standing as if he was a major league player swinging an imaginary bat.

The doctor gently raps...

I shot a birdie on hole #17 this morning at the golf course...

damn goose kept honking while I was trying to line up my putt

OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME!

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blond woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that ...

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan

During his first night in his small hotel room he decides to treat himself to the beautiful Japanese prostitutes he hears so much about from his colleagues when they go to Japan. He goes out and finds one and brings her back up to his room.

All throughout their sexual endeavors, the prostitut...

It's Only A Game?

At the golf course one Sunday, Bernie's about to putt, when a funeral procession turns the corner just off the course and begins to roll by. Bernie straightens up from his putter, takes his hat off, and holds it over his heart. He stands there silently like that, facing the procession, until it pass...

What do you call a pizzeria on a golf range?

Pizza Putt.

A nun goes out to play golf (long)

A nun steps into a confession booth and asks the priest to forgive her for she has taken the lords name in vein. The priest say what happened sister?

She explains that she was out playing golf and hit a beautiful drive right into the center of the fairway.

The priest says "Golf can ge...

An Exclusive Golf Course

This golf nut had waited his whole life to play on a very exclusive golf course, and he finally got his chance. He was paired with another guy he didn't know who had also lucked into a round there.

At one point, a funeral procession came down the street. The first man stopped, while he was p...

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So this golfer goes to confession and tells the priest, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest says, "Tell me your transgressions, my son."

"Well," the guy says, "I was on the 5th hole last week and I hate to say it but I cursed."

"What happened, my son?" the priest asks.

"So I teed it up and I hit the ball about 40 yards past the hole..."

"And you swore...

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Golf in Japan

An American golfer went to Japan for a tournament. The night before he met a woman, and although neither spoke a word of the other’s language, he managed to get the point across. They got into bed and when he stuck it in her she yelled something in Japanese which he took to me she was in ecstasy. ...

What do golfers do on their days off?

Putter around.

Tiger and Stevie Wonder are in a bar

Tiger turns to Stevie and asks, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie: Not bad. How's the golf?

Tiger: Not bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that worked out now.

Stevie: I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a wh...

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A priest goes golfing

He tees up on the first hole, takes a swing, and the ball curves to the right. "Ah shit," the priest says before he realized what slipped out of his mouth. He quickly covers his mouth, apologizes to god, and continues playing golf.

A couple holes down, he tees up and the ball curves hard to t...

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Golfing Jesus

Jesus and two others are out playing 18 when they come up on a par three with a particularly tricky water hazard. The first gent tees off and not surprisingly he hits into the water, forcing a drop.

Jesus steps up to the tee with his usual swagger and addresses the ball. His robes move as flu...

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Confession

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I used the F word this morning on the golf course."
"Tell me, my son, what were the circumstances that put you under such extreme provocation?"
"I drove my tee shot three hundred yards, but the wind suddenly caught it and it landed in the rough." ...

The Priest who couldn't swear!

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the 1st hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, “Hoover!” under his breath.

On the 2nd hole, Father Murphy’s ball went straight into a water hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time.

On the 3rd hole,...

Jason and Charlie go golfing

After a few holes Jason misses what should have been an easy putt. "God dammit, I missed!" said Jason. Charlie replies, "Woah there, you really shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain or God himself may strike down upon you". Jason assures Charlie it won't happen again and they continue to play. A few...

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A nun goes golfing...

*[I was playing a round of golf the other day with a fellow who asked me if I knew any golf jokes. When I replied that I did not, he said you should always have a golf joke or two in your repertoire. I asked him for a joke then, and he told me this one. I now have one in my repertoire, and so wil...

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A priest and a businessman are playing a round of golf...

They go and tee up for the first hole, and on the very first shot the businessman sends it flying off into the woods.

And he says "Crap, I missed"

And the priest says, "Do not curse my son, or the lord's wrath shall be upon you."

The businessman grumbles and agrees and they go t...

A young man meets an old man on the golf course...

They play a few holes together and get to the 5th green which sits right next to a road. As the old guy is about to hit his putt a funeral procession slowly drives by.

The old man steps away from his ball, takes off his hat and lowers his head for a moment.

Then he steps back up to hi...

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A man goes to confession at his local church...

He sits in the confessional box and begins to confess his sins.

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. This week, I took the Lord’s name in vain.”

“Tell me what happened, my son” replied the priest

“Well, Father. I was out golfing on Wednesday afternoon and I’d been playing a gre...

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My dad went to play golf...

On a sunny Saturday afternoon and was randomly paired up with a priest. On the first hole, dad missed a three foot putt for par and said to himself "G*d damn it, I missed!"

The priest said to him "My son, please do not take the lord's name in vain."

On the second hole, my dad missed a...

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So Jesus and St. Peter are playing golf...

Peter takes a nice clean stroke landing safely on the green, ready for the putt.

Then Jesus comes up to stroke.

Jesus absolutely splits it. It goes directly into a water hazard, where it is then eaten by a fish.
"Pay up." Peter begins, but he is interrupted.
"Doth Thou doubtest t...

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam go golfing...

The imam tees off first. He completely shanks the drive. "Fuck!" he screams, "I missed!" The priest turns to the imam and says "My friend, you must watch you language. If you continue to swear God will rain his wrath upon you". The others tee off without further incident.

On the fairway, the ...

Golfers wife has a heart attack

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!

"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the gree...

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Tiger Woods and a preacher play golf.

Tiger Woods and a local preacher get paired off at a charity golf tournament. On the fourth hole, Tiger misses an easy, 6 foot putt, and shouts "God dammit!" The preacher turns to him and says, "Tiger, you've already angered God. If you blaspheme any more, God will smite you where you stand." 3 ...

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So a priest and his friend play a round of golf.

The friend misses a short putt and exclaims, "Oh shit! I missed." The priest then responds, "Watch what you say! God will strike you down!" Later on in the round the friend misses another short putt, once again exclaiming "Oh shit! I missed again." The priest says back "I warned you before! If you s...

Burt and Arthur are playing golf

As Burt is eyeing in a putt on the 14th, a funeral procession drives slowly down the road right next to the green. Burt drops his putter, removes his hat, bows his head and mutters in a respectful manner.
 

Arthur congratulates Burt on his display of respect and says he didn’t kn...

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A man goes to see his priest...

A man goes to see his priest to confess his bad behavior.

Man: “I’m sorry father but I took the lords name in vain.”

Priest: “My son, you still seem upset at the matter. Why don’t you explain what happened and get it off your chest. You will feel much better afterwards.”

Man: “...

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A rich Texan is visiting Japan....

A rich Texan businessman is visiting Japan, so he decides to hire a Japanese hooker. That night, as they're reaching the climax of the night's activities, she begins yelling, "Nagasai! Nagasai!" He obviously doesn't speak the language, so he guesses she was yelling "Yes! Yes!".

The next day, ...

A professional golfer was...

angry when a man claimed his gorilla played better golf than the pro did. Betting $10,000 to prove it, the pro teed up on a par five and hit a beautiful shot down the centre of the green.

The man pulled his gorilla out of a cage and handed him a club. Pointing to the where the hole was, he ...

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A little boy was playing golf with a priest.

Everything was going fine, but the priest noticed that everytime the little boy misses a shot, he would swear.

"Fuck!" said the boy as he putts too strongly and misses the hole.
We would say this everytime he makes a mistake.

After what seemed like an infinite number of f bombs, ...

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A long-assed golf joke- but a decent, long-assed golf joke...

A man goes to see his priest:

“Father”, the man begins, “I took the Lord’s name in vain today while I was golfing.”

“I see. This is certainly an egregious sin in the eyes of our Lord, but perhaps you could tell me the circumstances around which this happened. As a golfer myself, I un...

US Open...

So there was this golfer that entered the prestigious US open....it was the final day after a harrowing close couple of rounds he was on the final hole, the final putt....It all hinged on this putt...if he made it he would be the champion!!
He was lining up his putt and looking at the grass when ...

4 old men are out golfing on the back 9....

4 old men are out golfing on the back 9.

One of them sets up for a long putt when when a motorcade for a funeral passes by the course.

He stops his putt, takes off his hat, closes his eyes and holds his head down in a respectful manner.

The other 3 are astonished!

One ...

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American businessman heads to Japan for some business. Knowing he's a good golfer and wanting to beat him, the Japanese business man gets him drunk and hires a woman for the night thinking he will not play a good game the next day.

The American and the Japanese girl go back to his room where they proceed to make passionate love.

As he starts to thrust, the girl starts moaning 'machigao...'

Taking this as a sign she likes it, he starts pumping even harder, the girl continues to push back at his hips saying 'machig...

A priest and a nun are golfing...

The priest misses a putt and yells " dammit I missed!" The nun tells him not to swear because God won't approve of it. On the next hole the priest hits a bad shot and yells once again " dammit I missed" and the nun tells him," don't swear anymore or the sky will open up and God will strike you down"...

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Confession time...

A man steps into a confessional.

Priest- "What is your sin, my son?"

Man- "Father, I'm afraid I took The Lord's name in vain today."

"I see. This is a grave sin, as you know, but perhaps there were circumstances leading to this I need to better understand."

"Well, Fath...

A woman is golfing with some friends.

After sinking her first putt, she's on her way down the path to the second tee when she gets stung by a bee. She rushes the short distance back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor.

She bumps into the resident golf pro, who says, "What can I help you with?"

The woman tells him she...

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Golf Truisims

* Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

* Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.

* When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use
one more club or two more balls.

* If you're afraid a ful...

An American goes to France for business...

...and since he arrived a day early he decides to try golfing for the first time.

After stumbling along the course for an hour he starts to get the hang of it and drives a long ball onto the green. He finally putts the ball into the hole when a few other golfers waiting at the same hole star...

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A priest goes golfing with a friend.

The friend isn't a very good golfer, and every time he messes up, he yells 'Fuck! Missed!'. A few holes into the game the priest asks 'Please don't swear. Next time you mess up, take a deep breath and say a quiet prayer.' The friend agrees. Soon after he misses an easy putt, but can't stop himself s...

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The round of her dreams (NSFW)

Jeff plays golf with his brother, his son, and his dad every Saturday. His brother has to back out one day and so they are asked if they would mind picking up a single player. They say it's fine. As they are stepping onto the first tee a gorgeous blonde walks out and says she's their 4th. As they ar...

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Edgar is sitting in his rocking chair on his back porch...

... watching the river flow, when he notices an old man down by the dock loading up his boat with rolls of tape.
Edgar yells down to the old man,
"Hey old man! Where you going with all that tape?"
The old man replies,
"This here is duck tape. I'm gonna catch me some ducks. You ...

A nun takes a poor man golfing for charity.

On the first hole the man completely shanks a shot and says, "Goddamnit I missed."

The nun replies, "You shouldn't take the lords name in vain."

The guy grumbles and they keep playing. A few holes later the man hits a ball in to a sand-trap and again says, "Goddamnit I missed."
...

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A Japanese and American businessman are closing a deal.....

The American was new in Japan and did not know the customs or language. He was a quick learner though and after weeks of negotiations, he sealed the deal.
The Japanese man says, "ask for anything to make your last couple of days more enjoyable.". The American says, well I'd love a beautiful Japan...

He Takes His Golf Seriously.

An elderly golfer is about to putt when a funeral procession drives by.

He removes his hat, and waits for the cars to pass by.

His golfing buddy turns to him and says, "That was very thoughtful of you to do that."

He responds, "Well, it seemed appropriate. I was married to the ...

A Priest and a Rabbi go golfing

A Priest and a Rabbi go golfing. On the first hole, the priest hits a perfect drive right down the middle, and chips it onto the green with his very next stroke. His putt is a surefire Birdie, but he misses it. The priest throws down his putter and screams, "GODDAMMIT I MISSED!!!"

The Rabbi, ...

A guy goes to a public golf course.

He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, “I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.”

The man behind the counter says, “The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 shiney brand ...

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Three guys and a woman are playing golf...

The woman is having the round of her life as she steps onto the 18th green after hitting a beautiful shot 10 feet from the pin. If she makes this putt, she will beat the course record that has been around for over 50 years.

So she says the guys, "If one of you help me make this putt, I wil...

Three men are out golfing...

As they are waiting for their tee time, a young, very attractive woman approaches them.

"Do you mind if I join you three for a round of golf?"

"Absolutely!" the three men reply.

By the 18th hole, the woman has been doing very well, but needs to sink a 30 foot putt in order to ...

A Golfer's Confession

"I swore yesterday, father."

"Continue," said the priest.

"Well, I was playing in a local golf tournament, and on the eighteenth hole, a par three, I needed a birdie to win. My drive was perfect, but it hit a power line crossing the fairway."

"I see...and you swore at your misfo...

Three men out golfing....

Three men were out golfing one sunny day. They were just about done with hole 8, when they heard a young lady calling from the green on hole 9. They all walked over there, and asked the young lady what she needed. She said, "Well, I came out to the golf course today hoping to beat my last score. If ...

Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...

and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.

Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ba...

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A joke about golf and a priest (A bit long)

So a priest is playing golf with a professional golfer and they are having a pretty even match. They are up to the 6th hole with the scores level and all the golfer has to do is get a 4 foot putt. He hits the ball but it misses. The frustrated golfer shouts
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I MISSED THE ...

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