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Hella Jokes

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Hella flush...

So you got $4000 rims on your '99 Civic? That's the same as great-grandma getting a boob job!

Ladies call me Little Caesars

Because I got hella bread and low quality meat

American teens are getting pregnant to save money.

It doesn't work as well but it's a hella lot cheaper than bullet-proof vests.

How do people in Nor Cal get around?

Hella copters

What did the devil say when he looked in the mirror?

I'm hella cute

How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hella

A brief history of Ancient Greek culture

Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.

Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.

Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan

I heard the girls are hella thirsty

Gary kasparov (chess master) was sitting next to me in a plane.

He wanted to play chess with me.
I was like " come on Gary, u r like this world champion player... U will beat me in less than 10 moves. "

Gary replied, " I'll play with my left hand"

" That sounds fair" I said. And we played.
I don't know how but Gary beat me in 7 moves. I was...

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What's the difference between a fish market and Nicki Minaj?

One has halibut and one has hella butt.

A dock worker walks into a Mercedes-Benz dealership and asks "How much is a S65 AMG?"

The dealer says:

- $229,500.

- Any good lease deals?

- $2909 a month for 72 months, $14500 due at signing.

- Still too expensive. Any preowned ones?

- Prices for this generarion start at $86,095.

- Still hella expensive.

- Would you prefer a cheaper ...

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A young man walks into a lamp post

"Ouch!" the lamp post shrieked. "that was hella painful"

Appalled by what he heard, the young man went all crazy and started running down the streets, where he saw road crossing chickens, stupid blondes, fatherless black kids and an insane number of lawyers, engineers, priests, scientists, do...

A northern californian sees alot of helicopters in the sky...

...he turns to his friend and says, "Hella Copters"

A woman went to the supermarket...

And bought :

* 12 eggs


* Orange Juice


* Lettuce


* Bacon



While she was close to do the checkout, a drunk man that was right behind her made an observation:

" You must be single "

She felt a little uneasy, as she was actually single....

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My cousin is a super hairy dude,

We used to nickname him Cousin "It" affectionately.

I remember chatting to him in our freshmen year trying to figure out what our dreams and aspirations were. Cousin It was a weird dude, he didn't really fit in most circles! He was always super quiet and didn't stand out much.
He was hell...

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So Adam and Sarah partyed all night....

And in the morning, it was saturday and they had to go to sunday school.
Adam was wide awake but sarah was still hella tired.
They get there and Sarah immediately fell asleep as soon as the priest started talking. He eventually decided to give a pop quiz. He asked the first question.
"Wh...

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