The US government has been there for us through hard times From the great depression, the numerous market crashes, through pandemics of flu and tragedies like the loss of American lives.

I'm starting to think they're bad luck

Doctor, after listening to his patient's numerous complaints, : "I'll write something out for you."

Patient : Is it a prescription ?

Doctor : " No , it's a letter of introduction to the undertaker"

Thanks for defining the word "numerous" for me

It means so much

Transcript of a radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Over.

Americans: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Over.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision...

My brother keeps drowning despite my numerous attempts to teach him to stay afloat.

What a dense child.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prosthetic breasts were changed to plastic material after numerous reports of lip splinters occurring during foreplay.

That would suck wooden tit?

During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, in spite of our numerous arguments.

It was a case of he shed, she shed.

Numerous people in Africa are falling ill due to a lack of clean water above ground

I hope they 'get well soon.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man would like to live 150 years

He goes to the doctor and asks if it may be possible:

The doctor asks : « Do you drink alcohol? 
- Not at all.
- Do you do drugs ?
- Never ever!
- Do you have numerous sexual partners?
- No. »

The doctor then looks the man deep in the eye and asks: « then why the hell do...

A man was helping his friend clean out his garage.

He noticed an amazing looking belt in the garbage can. It was black, with numerous stars and galaxies etched into it in intricate detail.

"Why are you throwing this out?" He asked.

His friend replied, "It is just such a waist of space."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman is told to write versions numerous.

However he is not allowed to write any digits.

He is told to draw nine. He draws three vertical lines, each with a colored in oval on top.

“What does this mean?”

He responds, “that’s tree and tree and tree. That’s nine.”

He’s then told to draw ninety nine.

He then ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gentleman on his way to a job interview in Brooklyn breaks the sole of his shoe.

Not wanting to arrive at the interview with a broken shoe, he asks some by-standers where the closest cobbler is.

“You’ll want Olaf Von Gundersen.” says one gentleman. “He isn’t very close by but he’s quick and his prices are just right.”

Having no choice, the man with the broken shoe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A criminal gets arrested. NSFW

After the arrest he is put into his usual cell. After entering the cell he greets everyone as he is familiar with all of them. After the greetings, he notices an unfamiliar guy sitting alone in the corner that he has never seen before.
"First time?" He asks. The stranger nods in agreement. "What ...

There was a married couple named Cody and Vicky.

After being together for 5 years, they decided to have a baby. After numerous attempts Vicky gets pregnant. 7 months into the pregnancy they start to think about baby names. Neither of them could come to an agreement so they decided to combine their names for the baby's name.

That was almost ...

A Sliced Dairy Product

There was once a man named Ani. Ani was a long-time comedian. He had been running both a YouTube and a Twitter account for an entire decade, and did stand-up in bars and comedy clubs. Everywhere he went, he was showered with praise for his originality and dedication. On one 17th of August, however, ...

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