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Oversized Jokes

Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store

It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take

To the kid who ran away with my oversized coat from the laundromat…

…I hope you grow up.

I love oversized clocks,

big time.

Yesterday i went to the store for oversized boardgames

I kind of wanted to shoplift something, but the risk was to big.

A man was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized bag in the plane.

Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to put his bag in the overhead compartment.

"Do you always carry such heavy luggage", she asked.

"No more", the man replied. "Next time, I would be riding in the bag and my partner can buy the ticket".

A clown puts on their trademark oversized footwear...

Hilarity ensues.

I saw an oversized belt in the trash but otherwise it was perfect.

I thought, "what a waist."

A man died this morning when he fell asleep and drown in his oversized coffee mug. But he didn't suffer

it was instant

I am starting a sanctuary for oversized marine mammals.

It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do an uncircumcised penis and the kkk have in common?

They're both pricks in oversized hoods.

A slender woman met her friend for brunch. Talk turned to the renovations the friend was doing on her very old home.

The friend complained that, due to the very old carpentry and fixtures in the home, she needed a pair of oversized drill bits but couldn't find them anywhere. The first friend pulled out a pair of huge drill bits from her purse and asked if they would do. The second friend was thrilled and asked whe...

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Born without a Torso

A young couple goes through the heartbreak of giving birth to a baby who has no torso--the poor lad is just a head. Still, they are good parents and raise him with love, hoping for a breakthrough from medical science. Then, just before the boy's fifth birthday, the parents get a call from their doct...

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Medical Exams

Two brothers enlisting in the army were having their medical exams. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.

“How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers.

“It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one re...

Three nuns are sitting on a bench talking about their vacations...

The first nun says, 'I just got back from Brazil, and they had the biggest bananas I've ever seen. They were this thick, and this long!', holding up her fingers to show the width and her hands to show the length.

The second nun says, 'Well I just got back from Florida, and they had the bigg...

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A couple of parrots

An attractive young woman who was scantily dressed and wearing a cross, approached a priest after 8:00 Mass on Sunday morning and told him in confidence, "Father, I have a problem… I have two female parrots but they can only say one thing", and then she whispered in the priest's ear, 'Hi, we’re hot…...

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An old man and his lawyer have a meeting with an IRS agent.

They sit down in his office as the agent pulls out the man's tax records. "it says that the majority of your income is made by gambling, how do you manage that?". The man replies "I'll show you; I will bet you $1000 that I can bite my own eyeball." The agent thinks a minute and then agrees to the be...

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Lady walks into a porn shop...

Lady walks in to a porn shop and asks for a vibrator.
The clerk says, "They're all there on the shelf Madam..."
She asks, "What's THIS one?"
"That's our anatomically correct Whicked Wang," says he.
The lady buys it and leaves.....Only to return an hour later.
"How about THIS one?" She...

A blonde goes into a store to buy a TV

She immediately sees one that, when turned on, has great sound and visuals. She tells the manager, "I'd like to purchase this TV please. "

The manager replies, "Sorry, but I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde is insulted, but decides that the TV is worth it. So she dyes her hair red an...

One day a man brought home a custom fan [Long]

One day a man bought a custom electric fan in the colors of his favorite sports team. It had a remote control and an ion freshener and all the bells and whistles. It even announced when the next game would be! It was expensive, but the man loved his team and well, summer is hot. His wife, none too h...

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A father and his really ugly daughter

A really nice father who happens to be a widower and who lives alone with his only child desires to get closer to his twenty-something-daughter. Lately, however, he's been having trouble talking to her, due to her terribly depressive state; basically, his girl wants to meet a man and start a family...

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