UPJOKE
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In 2023 we're not calling them Halloween costumes anymore...

It's *occultural appropriation*

Got sent home from work for my Halloween costume..

Apparently, being a brillo pad was too abrasive for some people.

What’s the top halloween costume worn in New Jersey?

A gaba-ghoul

A Halloween costume idea

A nurse walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Are you coming to our big Halloween party?" the bartender asks. "Yes, I've already planned my costume. I'm going to come as a horrible monster made entirely out of blood," the nurse says. "I'm going to be a hemogoblin."

FREE Halloween costume idea:

Set yourself on fire and go as the planet.

The Halloween costume

A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a were...

What is the metric system's favorite Halloween costume?

A skeleton

.

.

(Scale of ten)

I need Halloween costume ideas

I was planning on going as a yoghurt but then I realised it'd be considered cultural appropriation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's Halloween costume

Donald and his Melania are getting ready to go to a Halloween party. He says to her:" why dont you go upstairs and change into your costume." She goes upstairs and he hears some rustling around. 5 minutes later she appears and walks down the stairs. She is completely naked except for a a pair of th...

What material did Mario use to make his Halloween costume?

Denim denim denim

I need a woman to help with my Halloween costume this year. I’ll be a zombie

And you lay there and get eaten.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My crush just asked for pictures of me in my Halloween costume

I sent her my nudes, and I said I'll be going as Adam this year

A dad buys his son a halloween costume

-Dad,can I take the price tag off now?It's really annoying..
-No,keep it until we get home so we can really scare mom

What is r/jokes favorite Halloween costume?

Repost Malone

Little Johnny wore his Halloween costume to Christmas dinner.

Dad allowed it since oct(31) = dec(25)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three friends go a halloween costume party..

They're greeted at the door by the host. "Okay, so we have Steve Irwin, a zombie\- wait, why are you just in you underwear?"

"I'm premature ejaculation; I've come in my pants"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Great Halloween costume idea!

I just went through my closet and found my ex's clothes. Does anyone want to be a raging bitch for Halloween?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scariest Halloween Costume

My buddy just dropped this one on me before our Halloween party...

I'm going to dress up as a period for the Halloween Party and I'll show up late, because there isn't anything scarier then that shit

A MtF Trans woman goes to a Halloween costume party...

But she shows up in her regular clothes. The party goers ask "did you forget this was a costume party?"

She replies "Oh I remembered. I'm dressed as one of the X-Men."

Stephen King didn't like my Halloween costume.

I dressed like a clown but he said I was doing it wrong

Halloween costume...

Guy 1 at Halloween party: Hey look, Steve's wife dressed up like Wonder Woman.

Guy 2 at Halloween party: Yeah, it makes you wonder if she's a woman.

I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.

I'm on a roll.

I came up with the best Halloween costume!

A disapointment

My Halloween costume this year:

I'm gonna get drunk and make a space suit out of Bud Light boxes. When people ask who I'm supposed to be, I'll respond, "I'm Buzzed Lightbeer!"

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.

I'm capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?

The Headless horseman

I forgot to wear my Halloween costume to work.

I was gonna go as the Invisible Deaf Mute Man.

I saw the best Halloween costume. The guy had dirty clothes, dried blood- the works.

“Zombie?” I guessed.
“No. Art major.”

You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,...

Did you hear about the dog who tried to dress up as a cat but got sick at a Halloween costume party?

He said he wasn't feline well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite Halloween joke

So a black man and his wife were invited to a halloween costume party. The man being a very busy person when it came to work tells his wife "Look I need you to buy me a costume for the party since I'm busy with work." She agrees and he goes off to work as usual.

He comes home that night and ...

My anti-vax sister wouldn’t let me take my niece trick-or-treating, even though she had the perfect Halloween costume.

Stupid cemetery rules.

My friend was asking for Halloween costume ideas, and I told him he could pull off a good Two-Face.

He said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, you just have to make one half look good!"

Statler and Waldorf were looking at a picture of your mom.

Statler said "Wow! I wish I could look like that!" Looking very perplexed, Waldorf said "You do!?" and Statler replied with "Yeah! It would save me the cost of a Halloween costume!" Then they both laughed out loud.

Halloween Joke

This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he’s just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.

The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume?”

The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I’m a snail!”...

Hollywood Halloween

Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.

Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'

Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'
...

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