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Coven Jokes

Why do witch covens have extra bathrooms?

Crone's Disease

What is a Covenant Grunt's least favorite day?

It's birthday.

The Four Witch Covens

There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. One day, they decided the onl...

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So a covenant of nuns hires a group of landscapers to do some work.... (Long)

Sister Mary Peter was looking at the grounds of the covenant one day and decided to call her brother John, a landscaper, to do some work and liven up the place. After agreeing to do so, John and his crew arrived at the covenant and began work on the grounds.

Throughout the week, John and his ...

A young witch decided to join some of her peers out in the bogs of Scotland.

Unfortunately, she found difficultly fitting in with the group and ultimately couldn't handle living in that kind of environment. This did not surprise the elders of the group much. Indeed, as they were fond of saying:

If you can't stand the peat, get out of the coven.

Indiana Jones: "I present the Ark of the Covenant, sacred crypt of the Ten Commandments."

Rick from Pawn Stars: "Best I can do is 25 bucks."

What you call a group of witches cooking simple recipes?

An Easy Bake Coven!

A witch finishes watching Monsters Inc...

And has an idea. Surely if children’s laughter is more powerful, then orphans crying for joy would make their tears MORE magical! So she teleports outside of a young orphans bedroom and slowly enters the room.

Inside, the young child in the bed stirs awake. “Who’s there?” He asks the figure. ...

All the witches be going to KFC tonight

They love some coven-ready chicken.

Two witches were arguing about who was the better witch

One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

"I'm the superior spellcaster", boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy's head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

"...

What do you call a group of Amsterdam witches trapped in a stench-filled room?

A Dutch Coven.

Saw a group of magical insects escape a flood in a tiny ship of their own creation.

Could this be the fabled Ark of the Coven-Ants?

What do witches bake cakes in?

Covens

A man was enjoying an evening stroll on the beach...

...when he came upon a group of four women building a fire. When they saw him one said, "This is a private ceremony. No men allowed!" The man apologized and turned around and went back the way he came, but curiousity got the best of him.

As soon as he was out of sight he went into the nearby...

The Last Supper

The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever...

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