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Pimples Jokes

What do pimples and social media influencers have in common?

They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a nasty scar until one day we forget they were ever there.

That's all guys, bye.

!NSFW! What is the difference between pimples and a catholic priest?

Pimples don't come on your face before the age of 13.

What’s the difference between catholic priests and pimples?

Pimples doesn’t come on young boys faces until they are in their teens.

What’s worse than getting two pimples?

Getting Shot

When I was a teen I had so many pimples...

in the library a blind man was trying to read my face.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library.

When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Alcohol removes pimples and warts.

Not from me. From the people I look at.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

Pimples don't come on boys faces till they hit 13

What are those little pimples on a female areola around her nipples?

It's Braille for "Suck here!"

Do you know what your pimples do while you're asleep?

Nothing really, the just zit there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made my girlfriend squirt today...

I fucking hate popping the pimples on her back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The boy with the wooden eye.

There was a poor kid in Highschool who only had one eye. He couldn't afford a glass eye so he had one made out of wood. The wooden eye looked terrible and he was very self-conscious about it.

Despite his appearance he always tried to score a date with the hottest girls in school. One day in ...

The Race!

Johnny was 16 years old and wanted a motorcycle really bad. But his parents said he couldn't get one until he graduated from high school. So, he saved up all his money, and when graduation day came, he threw his graduate cap up in the air and walked right down to the nearest Harley Davidson dealer a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trucker is hauling a B-double with three containers full of computer parts.

It's getting on toward dark, and so he stops at a steakhouse for a bite.


The first thing he sees is a sign on the door:


NO THONGS


NO SINGLETS


NO NERDS


MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ADMISSION


No nerds? Weird. But whatever...

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