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Guardians Jokes

What's the favorite drink of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

Groot beer

If Groot had kids, and one of them betrayed the guardians

it would be treason.

Today I become one of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

A job of guard at the Samsung store has always been my dream.

What do you call a group of Guardians of the Galaxy cosplayers that start setting fires and throwing bricks through windows?

A Groot suit riot

If you want to learn how to draw superheroes start with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy

He's just a fancy stick figure

James Gunn has been brought back as the director of Guardians Of The Galaxy 3

I guess you can unfire a Gunn.

After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.

I Am Grout

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Japan, people are now legally allowed to have 3 maternal guardians.

Here in the states, however, we don't get Mother 3.

The director of the "Guardians of the Galaxy" series will not be making the third part

I guess Disney really knows how to fire a Gunn

Which of Peter Parker's guardians would keep his secret?

His uncle wouldn't, but his aunt may.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Rocket Raccoon say after getting stabbed in the back by the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

Et tu, Groote?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How The Government Works

One day, a teacher assigns her kids to do some homework; ask their parents/guardians what the government is, since that's their next lesson. Little Johnny, one of her students, goes home that night and asks his father.

"Well," Dad says, "Think of it this way. I'm the president, Mom is the Con...

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