What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?
Same middle name.
How do you tell the age of Henry VIII?
Count his rings.
Why couldn’t Henry VIII breath?
He had no heir.
What did Henry VIII say to his wife?
Easier dead than son, huh
Why did Henry VIII fail his classes?
Because he lost all his Tudors.
King Henry VIII had six wives. He beheaded two of them.
Those were his axe wives.
(this joke is courtesy of my father)
What did Henry VIII say when Anne Boleyn cheated on him?
“So no head?”
Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes
Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work
What happened to king Henry the VIII’s wife’s head?
(removed)
Did you know Henry VIII was the first Jedi?
He was a master of divorce.
Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey?
It's why two of his wives were bee-headed
"Not tonight darling, I have a headache" - Wife
"Not to worry love, we'll soon sort that out" - Henry VIII
Henry VIII had a door for his ex-wife to leave, and a different door for his new wife to enter.
He was a British king from the Twodoor House dynasty.
What do you call King Henry VIII when he’s in the air?
An altitudor
Five of Henry VIII's wives just got their GCSE results...
D
B
D
D
B
Who invented that game?
Did you know that Henry VIII invented the game F*ck, Marry, Kill?
Back in his day, however, it was called Wed, Bed, Behead.
I saw a man on the street dressed as Henry VIII.
He was sitting on the sidewalk asking people for money.
I thought, that can't be right; beggars can't be Tudors?
After double doors had to be installed in the castle to allow for Henry VIII's massive frame, he was no longer the same man who enjoyed playing his horn or teaching his kids.
He was a two-door tooter Tudor too dour to tutor
Why was VI afraid of VII?
Because VII VIII IX.
Some jokes just don't translate well.
It is 1538 and the Dissolution of Monasteries by King Henry VIII is in progress...
having broken away from the Catholic church, Henry had angered many adherents both domestic and abroad, and sought to shut down any institutions that swore their allegiance to the Catholic church before he had a revolt on his hands.
He attempted to completely squash all churches, monasteri...
ELI5 How easy is it to get into watching NETFLIX...
...when I haven't even seen NETFL**I** - NETFL**VIII**
It was movie night, and I thought my favourite baroque composer and Henry VIII would enjoy the film JFK.
Sadly, Bach and Tudor left.
My girlfriend called me a pervert and a terrible historian
I said, "I am not a terrible historian....ask me the fate of Henry VIII's wife's". "Go on then" she replied.
...
"Divorced
Beheaded
Died
Divorced
Beheaded
Creampied"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I've put massive billboards up on the side of my house one says "Henry the VIII was a Fat protestant Bigamist"
and the other says "Elizabeth the 1st was an ugly ginger virgin".
Well the wife said she always wanted to live in a Mock tudor house .
Loving relationship with your husband.
There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked:
'How many of you love your husbands?'
All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband yo...
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