UPJOKE
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You know you have a small pp when

..when you run into a wall with a boner and break your nose first.

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A man gets his wife's name tattooed on his pp (nswf)

A man goes to a tattoo shop to get his wife's name, "Wendy" tattooed on his pp

The tattoo artist agrees but says that it'll say "Wy" when he's soft and "Wendy" when it's hard. The man says he's fine with it and gets it.

A few weeks later he and his wife are on a vacation in Jamaica whe...

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A jew visits a brothel

He talks to the guy at reception:

- Hello, I want to see Samantha.

- One moment sir.

A beautiful young woman comes downstairs.

-Have you asked for me?

- Yes, I want to spend the night with you.

- Alright but my service is a bit expensive. $1000 for a night....

PP Issue

Husband comes home drunk and pees ALL over everything in the bathroom.

When he wakes up in the morning, his wife is super angry.

He asks "Why are you so ticked off". She looks at him with hands on her hips and says-

"**Urine Trouble**"

Why did the computer have a small pp?

It was made at Microsoft

pp joke

once there was this dude who came and went insane right after. total nut job

Imagine if people started calling DPs as PPs (short for profile picture)

"OMG your PP is so cute!!"

"Your PP sucks, change it asap"

"Drag and Resize your PP to fit the frame"

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PP JOKE

three men enter hell the devil asks the men what did you use to work as the first man said a lumberjack so the devil said that they will chop his pp off the second man said a firefighter so the devil said we will burn his pp off the third thought about it and said lolipop sales men

edit : for...

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas…

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town...

Which Pokemon in-game item should you never give to your Trans friends?

And Ether. It restores pp...

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A woman who is pregnant with triplets (boys) is walking on the street when all of a sudden she gets shot 3 times in the stomach.

Upon arrival at the hospital the doctor tells her she will live and so will the 3 boys. He also tells her surgery isnt necessary to remove the bullets and the bullets will find its way out the natural way.

10 years have passed since the accident .when 1 of the boys runs up to his mom screamin...

Larry is having his performance evaluation and his boss is showing his disappointment.

He said, “Larry, you used to be a great worker, but for the past few months I never seem to see you working when I come by your office. What happened?”

Larry looks at the boss and said, “Well, in August they carpeted the hallway…”

Pontius Pilate: “As a gesture of goodwill to mark the beginning of Passover, we will release one prisoner.”

Crowd:

PP: “It’s part of my new Pilate program.”

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO

Protip for women : if a guy you met doesn't seem to leave you despite dropping hints,do the following

1. Talk about your horoscope

2. Talk about your cat

3. Talk about your cat's horoscope if he is still around ..

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I fucked a DVD.

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it sta...

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Sex workers had the easiest job in 2020.

They already had a PP-PPE rule!

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Ouch!

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mens room door, it was "OCCUPIED".

The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautione...

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A gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed t...

You can’t spell disappointment without...

...dis pp

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What do you call Viagra for Pokemon?

PP UP.

Why is it a bad idea to swim in the Mississippi River?

Because it has pp in it.

What's the difference between raping and rapping?

Where you put the pp.

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This is long, but I think it's worth it.

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If y...

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Did you hear the one about the guy on the toilet with all the buttons??

He looked at the array of buttons in bewilderment as he finished his business. He sees one labeled “WW”and decides to test it out. He pushes the button and warm water gently shoots out and washes his rear. Delighted, he moves onto one labeled “WA”. He pushes it and warm air flows from the toilet and...

Apparently it’s no longer OK to urinate in the ocean.

I’m told it’s not pee sea.

So there was this society where everybody was born really weak.

The more wealth you had, either through actual money or possessions, the more you would reach your maximum power percentage. Most people had around a 50% power percentage, parents would give some of their belongings to their kids at birth so they would be strong enough to walk, but people who went a...

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