UPJOKE
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Io Jokes

Some say that iOS is better, while some say that Android is better. But at the end of the day...

It is night

What .io game did people in the 1920s play?

Pol.io

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can the mods of this sub do a better job of monitoring who is allowed in here please?!

We have a new member, an elderly woman. She's been privately messaging people, sending them naked pictures of herself in nasty poses along with close ups of her unmentionables. She is offering an Iphone 11 in exchange for sexual favors. I am especially bothered because it turned out to be an Iphone ...

Apple just released a new iOS update to help protect against piraters

It's called the iPatch.

Are there any iOS developers reading this that can help me with something?

Just kidding, I know they’re all too busy for Reddit after today’s announcement, and are struggling to update their apps for tomorrows iOS 14 release.

The entire crew of the first manned mission to Jupiter died upon reaching the planet...

I guess nobody quite understood the gravity of the situation.

Which of Jupiter's moons is the best according to the Seven Dwarves?

Io, Io...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross an anti-vaxxer with a stripper?

Pole-io

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

What do they call confectioner's sugar on the moons of Jupiter?

Io cane powder

My buddy was bragging about his Airpods...

He found it amazing that they seamlessly connect from his iPhone to his iPad when he changes devices. I told him that my Jabra does a pretty good job, but it doesn't always get it right because it's connecting to Android, Windows, and iOS devices so it's not an apples to Apples comparison.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guys having lunch on a high rise construction site.

As they open their lunchboxes

1st guy says. Bologna sandwich again! If my wife packs me another bologna sandwich tomorrow I'm jumping off this high rise and killing myself.

2nd guy opens his lunch up. Ham and cheese again! If my wife packs me this lunch again I'll jump with ya!
...

Yo mama ...

Yo mama is so fat that when she plays agar.io she's already on top of the leader board

the weather app on my android tablet tells me it's sunny outside....

.... and it's the same on my Iphone, but if i look out of my window i can totally see it's raining.
Oh my god, I think i've just proven the superiority of windows over Android and Ios.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thanks to COVID, from now on, whenever I'm in an elevator, I'll be using my dick to press the buttons.

Protibaake atu bebro tlika ipradee tebu! Eba keeu predeta to pibate pu. Gegu giubu obla etu klate titata? Igi keka gau popu a pletogri. Aoplo draetla kuu blidriu dloidugri ibiple. Plabute pipra ko igupa tloi? Ta poklo gotapabe ipra pei gudlaeobi! Bloi iui tipra bakoki bioi di ige kra? Oapodra tipri ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three programmers were condemned to death by....

Three tech gurus were sentenced to be executed. They were to be executed by a century old guillotine. The first guy, a microsoft engineer is secured at the bottom of the frame. The blade is released but slows down gradually and stops a few inches before the nape of his neck.

Considering it as...

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