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Ultramarine Jokes

Victory against Heresy

Lord Commander Guilliman was addressing his Ultramarines, and declared that the victory against chaos is already on the horizon.

One ultramarine who comes from a hive world has never seen a horizon, so he asked his captain what that means. His captain replied, "Horizon is the line that you c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three soldiers walk into a bathroom...

Three soldiers walk into a bathroom: an Ultramarine, a Blood Angel, and an Imperial Guardsman. They each head to a urinal and begin to do their business.

The Ultramarine finishes first, and walks over to wash his hands. Washing his hands, he uses plenty of soap and water, spends a long time s...

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