Why didn’t the English teacher like looking at graphs?

Too much x-position

I just watched a movie about graphs, and it was really disappointing.

The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.

I'm very good at math I can do number theory, combinatorics, but I cant bring myself to do graphs

That's where I draw the line

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat do...

I used to go out with a girl who was obsessed with graphs...

she was always plotting behind my back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a math teacher that assigns graphs with holes and assymptotes on tests?


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Jesus and Satan are having a competition...

... to see who is the better Excel user. God is the judge.

Satan is killing it. He has pivot tables, graphs, macros. Jesus is doing ok - he has a few columns of data, some basic graphs and some formulae.

The time is nearing the 2hour time limit and suddenly the power goes off. Satan is...

One day at the Psychiatric Ward...

A psychiatrist is evaluating three new mental patients. He turns to the first one and asks, "How much is 3 times 3?"

The mental patient thinks and thinks. He racks his brain. Finally, after several minutes, he answers, "128!"

The psychiatrist turns to the second mental patient and asks...

The USA made it a country wide policy to start treating the enviroment better

To help save school supplies, Alabama contributed by using the same papers for line graphs and family trees

A man is totally convinced he is dead.

His wife and kids do everything to try and convince him that he’s not dead. They take him to a doctor and for months every day the doctor shows him charts, studies, graphs, and statistics showing that dead men do not bleed, and finally the man is completely certain that dead men do not bleed.

A pirate walks into a bar…

A pirate walks into a bar with a small computer and monitor on his crotch. The bartender picks him out immediately and notices graphs and statistical functions appearing on the screen as the pirate walks up to him. When he reaches the bar, the pirate asks
for some rum.

The bartender says,...

A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician interview for a job...

The interviewer brings them in one at a time. He asks each the same question: "What is 2+2?"

The mathematician looks annoyed and says "obviously it's 4"

The engineer says "well, I'll have to draw up some graphs and make a few charts. I'll get back to you next week"

And the stati...

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