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Fourty Jokes

A rich old man goes golfing with his friends

And he brings along a gorgeous young lady.

"Well guys, meet my new fiancée" he says, full of pride. And for the rest of the afternoon the friends can't take their eyes off the beauty.

After the round of golf the rich man goes up to the bar to order drinks for the group. One of his frie...

Can you name the 3 NFL team's mascots that start with the letter "F"?

The Falcons, the Fourty-Niners and the F***ing Dolphins!

A musician is hired to perform at a home for the elderly

When he arrives, there is a comedian already on the stage. The comedian says "Number seventeen!" And the crowd chuckles. Then he says "Number thirty-one!" The crowd laughs. Then he says "Number fourty-four!" And the crowd roars and claps.

The musician is naturally confused, so he asks t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman purchases an antique mirror...

in front of the mirror she playfully says " mirror mirror on the door, make my bust-line fourty four " and her breasts grew to enourmous proportions. She quickly ran to grab her husband and he decided to try it " mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" and his legs fell off

A patient rushes to a hospital.

Patient: NURSE I NEED A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY!!! I'M HAVING A HUGE ISSUE RIGHT NOW.

The nurse sees the distress in the patients eyes and calls over the doctor.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?

Patient: I don't know doc. I woke up this morning and I'm half deaf. I only hear hal...

Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty whole divided by sixty nine?

Man: Six thousand eight hundred and fourty five.

Interviewer: Hm... that's not the right answer...

Man: But i'm quick.

A tourist in Ireland goes into a local pub and orders a pint...

While sitting at the bar he gets into conversation with the barman and learns that it's a really close community who often meet and enjoy time together at the pub.
As they talk, a local stands up and the bar goes silent.
"Twenty four!" He calls out, before sitting back down, to which the estab...

Death is coming to take a lawyer away

The lawyer is weeping, "why now? I am only fourty!"

Death replies, "not according to the hours you billed your clients".

Son asks Jewish dad for money

Son: Dad, can you give me fifty dollars?

Dad: Fourty dollars? Why do you need thirty dollars? Here, take twenty and split it with your sister.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the night of their 40th anniversary

On the night of their 40th anniversary the wife asks her husband: "What were you thinking about, at this moment, fourty years ago?"
The husband replies: "How I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry."
The wife responds: "What are you thinking right now?"
The husband says: "I ...

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