Wer Jokes

and they had determined that the child should not be named until after it was born, so that they could meet it and make the name based on that first magical moment. On the day of the birth, a beautiful baby girl was born and the parents were instantly smitten.

"It's 'Love.'" said the mother.... read more

"Through high voltage nipple clamps” wasn’t the answer they were expecting

Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought ... read more

For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.

It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.
... read more

"Not now," says Mummy. "Wait until Daddy gets home."

So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says "Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?"

And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, "You keep quiet - I'll be talking to my attorney in the ... read more

The instructor called them into a room and said to the first one,

“Take this gun and go into the next room. I want you to assassinate whomever you find there. If you don’t do this, you don’t graduate.”

The man took the gun and went into the next room, where he found his wife. Taking o... read more

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat.

Th‌‌e on... read more

"School" is my answer.

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other day. It had motherboards on the walls, the placemats looked like keyboards, the cutlery had USB sticks for handles, you get the idea. But the waitstaff seemed sad. Really, really sad. The host was sighing as we walked to my table – he was a web developer... read more

Two old ladies were talking. One asked the other, "what would you do if you found a million dollars lying in the street?"


The other old lady answered, "I'll tell you the truth - if it belonged to a poor person, I would give it back"

Well, first you have to dig a deep hole in the woods and fill it half-full of ashes from the fireplace. Then place peas all around the outside of the hole. Finally, you hide in some nearby bushes and wait for a bear to come by.

When a bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole. ... read more

Do men have to be better at everything?

Oh yeah, a werehouse

The wife complained, "Put that back, we only have enough funds for essential items - not luxuries such as beer costing $20."

A little later while walking through the cosmetics aisle, the wife picks up a beauty cream and places it in the cart.

The husband says, "I thought we were on a t... read more

There is a large number of lightbulbs jokes that go, "How many X does it take to screw in a lightbulb?", with X ranging from blondes to bolsheviks. But why is it that the answer never equals one? Grandma knew why: Many hands make light work.

Two chicken nuggets were on a see saw. They looked into each other's eyes and realised they were in love. One of the chicken nuggets crawled over to the other side of the see saw and kissed the other one. It was a tender moment.

I just walk around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times...

I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops.