I just opened up a fortune cookie and there wasn’t a fortune inside.
I thought to myself, “that’s unfortunate.” -True story
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
What did everyone say about Nathan when he got fired from the fortune cookie factory?
That’s unfortunate.
The fortune cookie I got with my chinese food today was weird...
It said, ”FREE ME FROM THIS FACTORY Lucky Numbers 23.5° N, 121.0° E”
After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies.
Mine read, “Be quiet for a little while.”
His read, “Talk while you have a chance.”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
If you eat some fortune cookies whole...
You'll have some turds of wisdom.
My fortune cookie said my dreams would become reality
Great...
So, I'll be in my underwear at school, late for a class I can't find, and my teeth will fall out.
Thanks, fortune cookie.
What does a programmer say after reading the fortune they get from a fortune cookie?
Embed
I always swallow fortune cookies whole.
It gives me something to read on the toilet.
Got any funny fortune cookie idea's?
I own a restaurant and I have extremely funny fortune cookies, but I'm running out of fortune ideas! Help me! I need some raunchy, dirty and insulting fortunes! Show me what you got and you could see them in a fortune cookie one day!
I still remember my first fortune cookie...
...and how much it tasted like paper.
Did you hear about mrs. fortune cookies divorce?
Now shes misfortune cookie.
My fortune cookie said that something positive would happen to me this week and it finally happened!!!
Guys do you know what this coronavirus thing is?
"All your dreams will come true", said my fortune cookie
And the next day I realized, I went to work naked and couldn't run when I got chased by that monster
Newton [Long]
A man called Newton goes to a Chinese restaurant. He orders some fortune cookies. When they arrive, he opens one and sees what's in it. Only one word is written:
*Newton*
Newton raises his eyes in a mixture of confusion and surprise. How the hell did that coincidence happen? Why was hi...
A man goes to a Chinese restaurant
After the meal he open his fortune cookie. Inside it reads:
"Your charm and wit make admirers of many."
Although flattered, the man feels disappointed because he was expecting his fortune told. He pulls the waiter aside and asks for another fortune cookie. Inside it reads:
"Your...
Just the setup. Do your own punchline
I don't do standup but thought of a hell of a setup with nowhere else to put it and no way to finish it. So here it is.
You ever order Chinese food for yourself and get insulted by the number of fortune cookies they give you?
Was in a chinese restaurant....
opened the fortune cookie.
Inside was the guy's check next to me.
I said, "Hey buddy, I got your check."
He said thanks.
(Classic from Rodney Dangerfield)
A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse.
She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie:
today’s investment will pay big dividends!”
What do you call a cardboard belt?
A waist of paper.
--
^(Credit: Shadow Warrior fortune cookie)
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
The real joke is that this is what my fortune cookie said.
A little boy excitedly rushes into a candy store that sold some unusual goods...
Inside he meets the owner who takes him around the store and shows him all of the products. There were lots of different ones, candy shaped like a dog biscuit, the grass a cow would eat, the worms a bird would eat and even one that looked like a T-bone steak!
The boy is awe-struck and can’t ...
I tried making a small triangle out of paper...
It looked more like a fortune cookie
That was unfortunate.
My Future
I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant.
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