What time do people usually wake up with toothache

Tooth hurty

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A man walks into a bar...

He sits at the bar and orders a shot of whisky. While his drink is being poured, the man spots a jar of ten dollar bills sitting by the peanuts labeled, “bar challenge”.
Curious, the man asked the bartender what was up with that.
“That there is the current jackpot for this months bar challen...

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A drunk man walks up to the bartender

A drunk man walks up to the bartender and asks for a drink.

The bartender tells him, “No way man. You’re already hammered and your tab comes out at over $200.”

The man responds, “Please I’ll do anything. I’m having really bad withdrawals I just need a beer or two.”

“Really? Any...

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A man see's a sign on a bar window "Win $1,000,000 - Details inside"

Curiosity peaked, he enters the bar and asks the bartender what's required to win the million.



"Ah, that?" The bartender casually replied, offering a challenging smirk. "It requires the completion of 3 tasks I believe to be impossible. It brought in a lot of business when I first put ...

A barbarian warrior is captured by the enemy

He was taken before the leader, and told that he had one opportunity for life: he must survive four trials by ordeal.

The first was to walk barefoot across a trench filled with hot coals.

The second, to drink a full quart of the most powerful spirit.

Third, he had to enter a ca...

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The Bar Jar Challenge

*Seeing as I just typed this whole bastard from memory for an /r/AskReddit thread, I thought y'all might enjoy it too:*

A guy walks into a bar and notices a large jar full of $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
Bartender says, "People can pay the...

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American P. O. W

At the end of the cold war their was an American Prisoner Of War still being held at a Russian military camp, The Russian commander walks up to the American and says "Your in luck my American friend for the war has ended." I am a fair commander but you have killed several of my men, I will however g...

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A man walks into a bar...

He sees this bucket of money on the bar and asks the bartender what’s up. Bartender tells him they have three tests laid out in order to win this money.

1. Drink this bottle of hot sauce.

2. There is a rabid dog outside with a toothache. Fix it.

3. There is a 72 year old, 450...

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A jungle explorer is captured by natives

and is brought before the tribal chief.

"Trespassing in our jungle is punishable by death." says the the chief, "We can kill you right now quickly and painlessly, or you can try and survive a test of courage and win your freedom."

"What's the test of courage?" Asks the explorer.
...

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A man walks into a bar...

He asks the bartender: "What do I have to do to drink for free here for the rest of my life?". The bartenders says: "Alright, if you do three things for me, I'll give you everything you can drink for the rest of your life! First you must drink three pints of whiskey in one minute. After this you mus...

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A man goes into a pub and notices a big jar filled with $50 bills on the bar counter and gets curious

MAN: What is this jar thing, there must be hundreds of dollars in it ?
BARTENDER: We have a small game in our pub. Whoever completes three tasks correctly, wins the money in the jar.
MAN: What are the tasks then ?
BARTENDER: I can't tell you, you have to pay the $50 first.
Man gives the ...

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Punch lines

This is my campaign to reduce re-posting. I'm going to spoil as many often-reposted jokes as I can by posting the punch lines here. Please feel free to help me out.

Ha! I'm the bus driver!

I already have a cat.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day...

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A guy walks into a bar

And asks the bartender for a drink. While he sits there he notices a jar full of money on the bar. Next to the jar is a sign that reads, "complete the challenge win the jar." the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three parts that must be completed. First: D...

A man walks into a bar and sees a mason jar full of money on the counter

*"You sure get a lot of tips"* he says.
"That's not a tip jar" says the bartender "you see, we like to play a little game here. You put five bucks into the jar, you get three tasks, and if you complete them, the entire jar is yours. Wanna play?
*"Sure, why not?"*
"Alright, here we go....

Drunk cowboy

A cowboy gets captured by a group of Indians. They take him back to their camp where the chief shows mercy on the cowboy and says he can live amongst the tribe if he's able to complete three tasks.
Ahead were three tepees. The chief says to the cowboy, "in the first tepee is a beer keg. You have...

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Slightly NSFW, but worth it.

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the counter, where he sees a bucket full of money. He asks the bartender what was with the bucket, and received the reply, "It's our bar's winnings from an ongoing dare bet." The man was curious, and asked what the dare was, and the bartender told him, "First, y...

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Uncle told me this joke when I was 7

While staying in an unfamiliar town, A guy goes into a dingy bar and starts knocking a few down. After a couple of hours and many drinks, he notices a huge jar on a shelf behind the bar full of $50 notes. He calls the bartender over and asks "Wtf is that jar full of $50 for?". The bartender moves th...

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A pilot crashes while flying over an African jungle...

He survives the crash and is taken captive by tribesmen. He is taken to the chief of the tribe who tells him that the punishment for trespassing in their jungle is death. He says they are a fair tribe and other him a chance of freedom if he completes 3 tasks. The pilot, ecstatic about possibly liv...

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A man walks into a bar...

...and sees a sign saying 'Complete 3 tasks and win £500'. He asks the barman about it and he says "See that big bloke in the corner with the bald head, first off you've gotta knock him out".

He doesn't look keen on the idea but asks what the second task is anyway. "I've got an angry rottweil...

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